Page 143 of Uncrowned

“You have my word.”

She sniffled, nodding.

“You say you love me. Is that real?”

“I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. It’s not even comparable. I thought I loved before⁠—”

“Bella?”

I nodded, squinting my eyes through the distasteful memories that flooded me.

“Penelope, I met her when I was nineteen. The circumstances…” I stopped, twisting my mouth. “I don’t want to jump around. Let’s start at the beginning, okay?”

She nodded, and I braced myself for my past.

“My mother died when I was five. Someone from the king’s secret guard came into our home one day, murdered my infant sister, and slit my mother’s throat right in front of me and my father.”

“Vaughn.” Horror had her lips parting. “I’m so sorry.”

“My father was devastated. He loved my mother. He held and rocked her for hours before he made any calls. I… I had Katherine in my arms. She had only been a few weeks old. She’d been stabbed repeatedly. I… I didn’t know what to do. All those hours, I kept looking to my dad for direction. I didn’t dare interrupt his grieving. He was crying. Sometimes screaming. And then… he snapped.”

Colors morphed, blurring together. “He called my uncle—my mom’s brother—and dropped me off. It was a few days before I saw him again. No one knows what he did or where he went. The funeral came—” My breath came out broken up. “We went home. It was… horrible. So empty and… quiet. It wasn’t much longer after that, a few days after my sixth birthday, that someone executed my father in front of me. Blood, brains… I wasn’t sure whose I was covered in. The man barely finished pulling the trigger when my uncle put a bullet in his head. He raised me after that.”

“Vaughn. I had no idea. I am so sorry.”

“No. I’m the one who’s sorry. Life with me will not be any easier. It is the reality of this war between kings. Everyone is collateral. No one is safe.”

“I’m starting to see that. So, your uncle raised you?”

“Yes. He took over The Order, and my childhood was spent running down these halls. For years, we didn’t leave. It wasn’t until I got into my teens that my uncle had Redmond step in. We started traveling everywhere. We were never in one place too long. He brought in tutors, experts in different martial art fields. He wanted me prepared for anything that may come my way, and I was natural with the violence. It came easily after what I’d been exposed to.”

I picked up a lock of Penelope’s hair, twirling it around my finger as my past poured from me.

“Bella was one of my tutors. She was older than me. Pretty much my age now, and I was just a few years younger than you. I was a kid. Nineteen, like I said. She was teaching me Italian. We spent three years together, off and on. I thought I loved her. She wasn’t like the other women who threw themselves at me. She was quiet but funny. Until she wasn’t.”

Penelope’s head tilted. “What do you mean?”

“She played me. I was drawn to her because she never wanted anything but my time. She pretended it was me she enjoyed, and it wasn’t the money or mystery of my title. Maybe I knew something was… off. It started with her playing on my jealousy. She’d flirt openly with men, mostly those who were older than me. Then came guilt. ‘If you really loved me’, sort of talk. She wanted expensive gifts. Once, she even tried to convince me to murder a man who she felt was mean to her.”

“Did you?”

My lips pulled back as I traced my finger along Penelope’s cheekbone.

“I did not. I never killed anyone for Bella.”

“Katia said you killed slaves for her. That you loved her more than the other girls you’d chosen and killed.”

My head shook through the lies and anger that came with them.

“It’s not true. None of it. I told you, there was only ever one, and that was a mistake. She died, and I knew in my gut that she probably would. I just… I just thought that if I got the marriage part out of the way, I could focus on the evidence and—I didn’t want to marry, Penelope. I sure as hell didn’t want to marry for love. But…” My finger traveled from her cheek to her lips. Penelope’s mouth parted as her breaths deepened.

“I loved you the moment I handed you that dress. Seeing you in pictures nearly did me in, but in person, I never stood a chance. If you only knew how hard it was for me to leave you there, then. It was unbearable. I watched you for a long time before I called. I couldn’t stay away from you.”

“Vaughn.”

“It’s the truth.” I wiped the tear away as one slipped free down the side of her face. “I only want you. If I wouldn’t have gotten you back, I would have never moved on. I can’t be without you, Penelope.”

“Why would she tell me all those lies? Why—I don’t understand. She had stories. They were so real. She said she’d been tracking you for years. I believed her.”