Page 51 of Trying Not to Need You

Macklin doesn’t bother with lights, just takes my hand and leads me down the hall. I was expecting him to lead me to the guest room, but instead, it’s to his room, and he guides us into it as he flips on the small lamp on the nightstand. “Shower?” he asks.

“Too tired.”

He nods, digs around in his dresser, and hands me a T-shirt to sleep in. “Get changed. I’ll dig out an extra toothbrush for you.” He drops a kiss on my temple and leaves me to change.

My movements are slow as I step out of my clothes and into his soft, worn T-shirt. I’m just finishing up when Macklin steps out of the bathroom. He’s in nothing but his boxer briefs as he steps into the dim lighting of the room.

“Bathroom’s all yours,” he says, moving toward the bed and pulling back the covers.

“Thanks,” I murmur, before rushing inside, closing the door, and taking a deep breath. I want to be here, but now that I am, it’s overwhelming. Is this moving too fast? Am I asking too much of him when I’m not ready to admit he’s all I want? My mind is racing, but I push it all back, use the bathroom, wash my hands and face, then brush my teeth, and flip out the light.

The bedside lamp guides me to the other side of the bed, and I slide beneath the covers. The light clicks off, and Macklin is there, in the center of the bed, pulling me close.

“Is this okay?” he asks, his voice low, and I can hear the exhaustion in his tone.

“Yeah, this is okay,” I reply, snuggling closer, because I’m here, and he’s holding me, and I can’t think of a single place I’d rather be right now. I know I’m tossing him mixed signals all over the place, but Macklin makes it so hard not to fall for him.

He told me he was going to make me fall in love with him, and at the time, I didn’t believe him, but my heart is on board, and it scares me how much I want to just let go of the fear and worry and be with him.

He presses a kiss to my cheek. “Night, baby,” he murmurs.

My heart stutters in my chest. This moment, it’s what I always wanted. A partner. Someone who chooses me over and over again. And Macklin is showing me that he will, but will he always?

“Night, Mac.” I close my eyes. Right now is not the time to worry about all this. We need a few hours of sleep so that we can function today, and then I’ll let my mind wander. Right now, I’m too comfortable. I feel too safe in his arms to care about anything other than sleeping next to the man who is on a mission to steal my heart.

Fourteen

Macklin

I’m outside in the barn because the house is too quiet without her. Last week, I brought Baylor here from the hospital and held her while we caught a few hours of sleep. Now, the bed, the entire fucking house feels empty without her.

I’m just finishing my workout when I hear tires on the gravel driveway. Moving to the barn door, I peer out and have to blink a few times to make sure my mind’s not playing tricks on me, but it’s her. Baylor is here.

Pushing open the door, I walk outside, and the cool night air hits my heated, sweat-soaked skin. I probably should have put on a shirt, but I’m not willing to risk her knocking on the house door and thinking I’m not home. It’s just a little January chill. I’ll be fine.

“Fancy seeing you here,” I call out to her.

Her eyes widen, and they roam over my bare chest as she makes her way toward me. “You should have a coat on,” she scolds.

“Then come inside where it’s warm.” I nod toward the door, and she follows me back into the barn.

“Wow, this is not what I expected.”

“No?”

“This is not a barn, Macklin. This is a man cave.” She slowly scans the room.

I chuckle. “Maybe a little. I needed a place to work out and to store all my buckles, as well as a place to practice,” I say, pointing to the mechanical bull in the back corner of the shop, because she’s right—it’s not really a barn. But I’m a cowboy, so that’s what I call it.

“What you got there?” I ask, pointing to the container in her hands.

“Oh, right. The reason I’m here. I helped Courtlynn bake cookies. Well, I watched and stole dough while she was baking, but she made a ton, so I thought I’d bring you a sweet treat.”

She hands me the container, and I immediately pull off the lid and bring it to my nose. “These smell so good. Chocolate chip?”

“Chocolate chip walnut. Your favorite, right?”

I’m grinning like a fool because on one of our many chats, our favorite cookies came up, and she remembered mine. She’s cataloging details about me, and that’s a big fucking win in my book. Snatching a cookie out of the container, I take a huge bite and moan. “So good,” I say, speaking with my mouth full. My mother would be so disappointed in me right now.