Page 30 of Cruel Salvation

Chapter10

Happiness wasa weird feeling for her to relax around. In the past when her guard came down, her life had invariable gone to shit, so to put her trust in that feeling was hard.

Lying in the bed, she knew she should get up and call Bás but she wanted to enjoy this peace for a few more minutes before the real world intruded and shattered the little bubble she was in. Hearing the shower turn off, she smiled at everything that had happened in the last twelve hours.

She’d never meant to blurt out she was pregnant like that and she sure as hell had never expected his reaction or declaration that he wanted her no matter what. It was heady and exciting but underneath she couldn’t shake that fear that she’d lose him, or the baby that somehow felt more real than before.

Perhaps telling Damon and getting his promise of unconditional support had allowed her to hope a little and embrace it. Her hand skimmed over her flat belly and she wondered if she had what it took to be a good mother. Her own had been good, but she’d been shrouded in sadness, making her grow up quickly. Then she was gone, and her life had become one long line of disappointment and betrayal.

The bathroom door opened and Damon stepped out in a towel, his hair wet and body glistening. He wasn’t built huge like some of the guys, but he was strong and cut, and the way he used his body for her pleasure had her clenching her thighs together.

“Woman, you need to stop looking at me like that or you’re gonna get fucked again.”

A coy smile teased her lips as she stretched, letting the sheet slip and expose her body to him.

A growl rumbled through him as he came to stand over her, his hands on either side of her shoulders. “You’re dangerous.”

“I know.”

He took her mouth, his tongue stroking over her lip as she opened for him, her arms coming around his neck as she pressed her breasts against his chest. He pulled back and looked at her and then kissed her firmly on her lips before he pulled away.

She was pouting as she watched him pull on jeans and a T-shirt. “Where are you going?”

“Time to get up and dressed.”

Resting up on her elbows, she watched him start throwing his stuff in a bag and frowned. “Why?”

“So we can leave.”

A slither of doubt tightened her belly. “Why would we leave?”

Damon frowned at her as if she had two heads. “You can’t seriously think you can continue this hunt in your condition?”

Throwing off the sheet, Lotus stood and grabbed her clothes, pulling them on angrily as she gave him her back and tried to get her temper under control.

Fully dressed, she had her armour back in place as she spun to him. “First, you can fuck right off with that bullshit attitude. I decide what I am and am not capable of, not you. Second, I knew I was pregnant when I set out and I know the risks and precautions I need to take.”

“Oh, really? So you think the risk of getting shot or ending up in a physical altercation is a reasonable risk?”

“May I remind you I know what I’m doing. I’m not some rookie with no experience or training, and I have a responsibility to fix this for those soldiers.”

“And what about your responsibility to our baby?”

She raised her hand to stop him from talking before she did something she might regret, but Damon continued.

“You’re being deliberately provocative with your safety. It’s as if you want to get hurt or maybe you’re trying to have the decision to keep the baby taken out of your hands.”

He was glaring at her now, his emotions high and she tried to keep calm, but he’d gone too far. “Fuck you, Damon. How dare you suggest that I’d deliberately try and cause a miscarriage. Do you honestly think I’d do something like that? That I’m enough of a monster that I’d take those risks with a baby?”

With his hands on his hips and breathing hard, he looked away, his shoulders falling. “I don’t know, Naz. I just can’t see why you’d put yourself in the line of fire knowing the risks.”

Pain split her chest at his words and all the hope she’d been feeling melted into a bitter puddle at her feet. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I am that selfish and self-absorbed. I’m the monster under the bed, so why would I possibly want to subject a child or another human being to that?”

“Naz, I didn’t mean—”

He moved to grab her arm as she pushed past him, but she snatched it away. “Don’t. We’re done here. It was a hormone-driven mistake to think we could possibly make this work. I’m not cut out to be a mother or a girlfriend. Let’s just leave it.”

Jogging down the stairs, she felt trapped, caged like an animal. His footsteps on the stairs behind her had her wanting to run, but she couldn’t.