Page 55 of Wounded Hearts

Smithy sighed and rubbed his hands over the stubble of his hair. When he looked up, Drew saw anguish and realisation in his eyes. “I finally understood she was right. I did all of those horrible things to people I care about, to a woman I cared about, but it wasn’t me. I hate myself every day for what happened, but it wasn’t me. Mara made me see that. She’s the first person to get through to my thick head that I was a victim, and as much as I hate that, if I’m going to have a life, I need to deal with it. That starts with facing Rhea and getting a good woman back to a man that loves her.”

Drew was gobsmacked. This was the most Smithy had said in two years, and for him to make that admission was a breakthrough of epic proportions. “Well, I for one, am glad to have you on my side and I know the others feel the same.”

“Just promise me one thing.”

“What?” Drew asked, wary of the look in Smithy’s eyes.

“If they take me, then put a bullet in my head. Don’t let me do those things again. I couldn’t survive it a second time.”

Drew considered his friend’s words, his immediate gut reaction being a steadfast no. But wasn’t it so much crueller to let him become the puppet of a sick woman? “It won’t happen, Smithy.”

“Please.” Smithy’s voice was husky as he implored Drew and he didn’t have it in him to deny him.

“I promise. But you need to promise that this isn’t a suicide mission for you.”

Smithy went quiet and Drew held his breath, not wanting to have to tell Zack and get Smithy pulled from the op when he was finally making progress.

“I promise you this isn’t a suicide mission. But if it comes to her going free or me dying, then there’s no choice.”

The door opened and Drew was surprised to see Lizzie. Her eyes looked bloodshot and her hair was wild as her eyes found Smithy and then him.

“Can we talk for a minute. Please?” Her gaze was on Smithy as Drew stood.

He walked to the door as she came fully into the room. She stopped him and he leaned down to catch her eyes. “Bring her back, Drew. She’s an amazing woman and I know she loves you.”

Drew nodded. “We will.”

Lizzie lifted her chin and thinned her lips, before she moved to Smithy and he was forgotten. Drew needed to prepare both mentally and physically, so he did what he always did when things got hard, he went to the gym.

* * *

Lizzie moved slowlytowards the man who held her heart in his hands and kept trying to give it back. Nobody knew about their past or the history they shared. It was theirs to know, to treasure, and she did. Every single day she revered her memories of the man she’d been falling for before it had all gone wrong, and her world had been upended in such a way it would never be the same.

But no matter what she’d been through, what pain she suffered every day, nothing compared to watching a good man destroy himself over guilt he didn’t deserve to own. To push away any future or hint of happiness because he believed he didn’t deserve it.

Lizzie sat beside him and reached for his hand. He let her take it and she smoothed his callouses with her fingers. “Don’t do this. Please don’t go.” Her voice was husky with the tears she fought to hold back. Ever since she’d received the call from Lucy telling her what that bitch Winslow wanted and what they planned to do, her heart had been in her throat. Fear clawed at her at the thought of people she cared about putting themselves in danger, but most especially Smithy.

Lizzie knew these men and women and they’d do whatever it took to end this, but they would do it knowing they had lives to go back to, lives that held value, meaning they wouldn’t take unnecessary risks. Smithy felt he had nothing to live for, so he’d risk everything, give everything, even his life for this mission.

His eyes moved to hers, and for a second, she saw the man he’d been behind the ravaged man he was now. He caressed the top of her hand, his thumb rough on her skin. “I have to, Lizzie. I have to do this so nobody else gets hurt.”

Lizzie felt the sob move up her throat and the first tear hit the back of his hand. Smithy looked at her, his eyes moving all over her face as he seemed to catalogue her features. One hand gently rubbed the tear from her cheek, his other cupped her neck as he rested his head against hers. Smithy moved until his lips were pressed against her cheek and she rubbed her face against his bristled one.

“Let the others go, this will hurt you.” Begging was all she had left as her tears fell unabated now.

With his lips against her temple he pulled her closer, his hard body against hers. “She hurt you, Liz. She caused you pain, but it was me that took you. Me who put you in harm’s way, and it has to be me who ends it.”

Lizzie wrenched away, angry at his words, moving out of his reach as he let his hands fall to his sides. “It wasn’t you, not the real you. Not the man I’d been in love with. He was good, he was kind.”

“Yet you still chose another.”

His words stung, and she reared back in shock. “You ended things, not me. I loved you and you chose the army.”

“I was nineteen, Liz.”

“Yeah, well, so was I.” Lizzie felt her anger fade at his words. Anger for something that was so far in the past it shouldn’t hurt anymore. Lizzie lifted her hand to his cheek. “You need to forgive yourself for what happened.”

“I don’t know how.” His voice was husky. “I don’t think I’m strong enough.”

“You’re the strongest man I know. Let me help you.”

He held her eyes with his own tortured ones before he answered. “When I come back from this, will you help me?”

Lizzie’s heart was racing at his words. This was the first sign he’d given her that he wanted to heal, that he wanted to forgive himself, but she saw something in his eyes that gave her pause. “You don’t plan on coming back, do you?”

Lizzie stepped away, her heart shattering into pieces as she saw the truth of her words reflected in his gaze. With a sob she ran from the room and the man who’d just caused her more pain than he ever had when he’d given her to the Watchers.