Page 14 of Secret Redemption

Chapter Eight

Zack looked at the screen in front of him and cursed loudly, throwing his hands up and pushing away from the desk. He walked to the window and stood with his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he gazed out at the lawn. It was early, barely six in the morning, but fuck he was so tired, his mind wouldn’t shut down, and he had given up trying to sleep.

He had tried briefly after Frank had left earlier, but all he could see was the desire in Ava’s eyes. Her lying deceitful eyes. Part of him was furious that he had lost out on the first two years of his son’s life, but the other part of him understood that she had tried to contact him. Like the arrogant ass he was, he hadn’t returned her calls.

She could have told him in November when she’d arrived though. All these months he had been fighting the need to have her in his bed and contemplating the changes in her, and it was right in front of him. He’d sent a text to Will earlier and asked him to hack the Hospital where Riley was born and the Records Office where she’d lived, and he had found it in minutes. Ava hadn’t tried to hide it, and he felt his chest tighten to know that even then when he was in a living hell, she had been carrying his son. Will had sent him a copy of Riley’s birth certificate, and there it was in black and white, his name was listed under ‘father’ on the certificate.

He’d stared at it for ages until his eyes got gritty. His son. It was still hard to wrap his head around. A smile tugged at his mouth as he thought of Riley, he was so like Catherine that it was almost bittersweet to look at him. Zack moved from the window and crossed to his desk. He picked up the photo of him and Catherine at some silly garden party. He was about thirteen and dressed in chino trousers and a red check shirt. His hair combed smartly to the side. Catherine was looking up at him in adoration, her beautiful blonde curls, wild and untamed around her face, a pretty pink dress on. Kanan was standing beside her. He had been dressed similarly to Zack in chino trousers and a shirt.

They had all been smiling the smiles of the innocent and pure. Before illness, deceit, and betrayal had ruined everything. He always had, and always would mourn Catherine. She had been the purest person he had ever known, and he had loved her completely as an older brother should. She’d still left him though. As much as he had tried to look after her, she had still died.

The loss of Kanan at the same time had been one of the reasons he had joined the forces. He was looking for something he had lost, and he had found something very close in the SAS, and it was even more so with the people of Fortis.

They were his family, his relationship with his parents was strained after they lost Catherine and the reminder was too painful, so they just avoided it. Christmas lunch once a year was all he could tolerate now. It was like she had been the glue that held them all together. Now he realised he had the chance of his own family, something that was his and nothing, not one fucking thing would take that away from him.

He put the picture down and walked to his bookcase. Pulling out a first edition copy of Taming of the Shrew, he reached for the phone he had there. He switched it on and dialled the number, and on the second ring went to voice mail. He didn’t want to leave a message but had to really.

“K! Come home. Celeste knows, and she needs you!” Zack hung up and put the phone back. He heard the door open, and Ava popped her head around.

“Hey,” she said softly and smiled at him uncertainly. He wondered if she was thinking about last night, god knew, he had. She was dressed in soft worn jeans and jade green top that slid off her shoulder, exposing the soft pale skin. It was so different to the last few months and yet so familiar. He yearned to touch and see if she felt the same and tasted the same.

He realised he hadn’t spoken and was just, staring. “Morning! Did you sleep okay?

She blushed and looked away. “Not great, but Riley is a bit of a fidget,” she answered. “Dad has taken him into the kitchen, I came to see if you wanted breakfast. I hope you don’t mind me just helping myself?”

Zack waved a hand at her. “God no. Help yourself. This is your home now you should treat it like that,” He wondered if that was too much, but the fact was when they were married it would be her home.

“So, breakfast?” she asked again.

He found that he liked the idea of having breakfast with his son and Ava. He wanted to know other insignificant details about Riley. Things like whether he would like marmite as he did, and if he was left or right handed.

“Yes, that would be nice,” he answered and walked towards her. They walked back to the kitchen, and he tried not to look at the way those jeans hugged her curvy ass, or how tiny her feet looked in her little navy-blue ballet pump things.

They entered the kitchen, and all eyes came to them. He had a split-second fear at the responsibility of having this tiny human to care for, but it was so fleeting and was instantly replaced as Frank spoke.

“Morning son,”

“Morning Frank,” Zack answered as he sat down in his usual spot at the table. It also meant that Ava would be sitting next to him. The table was full of toast, jams, marmalades, marmite, a pile of bacon and fluffy American pancakes with a jug of maple syrup. He poured himself a glass of orange juice and turned to Ava, offering to pour her some. She nodded and smiled as she bustled to get Riley some toast.

Zack buttered himself some toast and slathered on the marmite as Ava wrinkled her nose. His son was watching him, and Zack didn’t look directly at him for fear of scaring him. Ava was reaching for the jar of strawberry jam for Riley’s toast when Riley shook his head no and pointed at the marmite. He tried to hide the grin of triumph at that. Ava had hated the stuff and wouldn’t come near him if he ate it, but hopefully, his genes had won through, and his son would love it too. Such a small thing but it meant the world to him. Zack watched closely as Riley sampled his first bite of Marmite on toast, and sighed in relief when he seemed to like it, and eagerly took another bite. He had been so brave and resilient last night, he was so proud how Ava had coped. She was an awesome mum by the looks of it. and their son was lucky to have her. He could see the adoration on his sons face when he looked at his mother, and Zack wondered if he ever got that look around her and confessed to himself he probably did.

“So, what is the plan today boys?” Ava’s mother asked with a smile as she addressed the table at large.

They proceeded to discuss the day’s plans and fill up on breakfast. The pancakes were amazing, and Zack groaned as he ate them. His son giggled and copied him.

“Daddy!” Riley said and pointed at Zack. He froze as he looked at his son. Every bone in his body felt rigid and the room stilled. His heart was beating like a runaway train as he watched for Ava’s reaction.

She turned to Riley and pulled him onto her lap, so the little boy was facing her. “Yes Riley, it is,” she responded softly.

“Icture!” he stated, and Ava laughed.

“Yes, honey, picture.”

Zack was gripping the arms of the chair and trying to make sense of what she had said.

“What does he mean?” Zack asked, surprised his voice sounded so normal.

Ava looked at him, “I put a picture of you in his room by his bed so that he would know your face. I wanted him to know who his father is and that was the best I could do until I got hold of you.”