Page 34 of Deadly Sins

21Ksenya

MY MIND RACED AS WE drove toward Pat and Annie’s place. What was today? Christmas? I was being invited to another SEAL gathering. This was too easy—way too easy. But my nerves and skin felt raw and exposed.

I’d only met Annie once briefly at the sendoff when Joaquín deployed last summer. She’d seemed shy, withdrawn, overwhelmed, and spent most of the day latched on to Pat. Ever since this nightmare had started with my brother, whenever I felt sorry for myself, I would think of Annie being kidnapped, forced into sex slavery, and still finding the will to live. Thinking about her survival strengthened my faith and gave me perspective about my own predicament. Unfortunately, today I would be meeting her as Grant’s stripper sidepiece, a reminder of the sex industry she’d fought so hard to escape.

Grant parked his bike, and I hopped off. He stored our helmets, took my hand, and walked me through the door. Why was he bringing a stripper to this family function? I still couldn’t shake the feeling that he was on to me.

Pat opened the door, his son Gabriel tugging at his leg.

“Are you here to see my baby sister?”

Grant knelt before Gabriel. “Yes, we are, little man.”

Gabriel’s dark skin and chocolate-colored curls were a sharp contrast to Pat’s fair complexion and blond hair. Despite the fact that Gabriel wasn’t Pat’s biological son, I could tell that Pat adored him.

I glanced at Grant, my throat thick, my stomach churning. Would Grant have done the same for me? Loved my child by another man? No matter how that child had been conceived?

I pushed the thought out of my head. I had to focus on this party, the people here, and stay the course.

“Congrats, bro.” Grant shook Pat’s hand. “This is Ksenya. Ksenya, this is my buddy, Pat.” Grant winked at Pat.

Pat raised an eyebrow toward Grant and shook my hand. “Nice to meet you, Ksenya. The ladies are fawning over the baby in the nursery. First door on the right.”

Dammit, I had to go in there by myself? Face a bunch of SEAL wives and girlfriends as Grant’s stripper flame? I’d rather face a firing squad.

But Team wives were bound by their own secret code. I’d take what I could get. At this point, anything would help.

Grant followed Pat and Gabriel out to the backyard, where the men were drinking and barbequing. I spotted the usual suspects through the glass doors—Kyle, Vic, Paul, and Joe. Rounding out the group was a guy with a Marine Corps high-and-tight cut, a blond surfer-looking dude with a mop of hair…and Mitch.

My pulse quickened. Now I was thankful Grant had brought me here, despite my awkwardness.

I surveyed my clothes: a flowy pink blouse paired with fitted white pants, nude pumps, and a designer handbag. I was going for nouveau Russki chic, a far cry from Mia’s uniform of vintage T-shirts, distressed jeans, and rhinestone flip-flops. At least I wasn’t dressed like I’d just shimmied down the pole. I walked down the hallway and stood in the doorway of the nursery, waiting for an invite to join the ladies.

Annie was holding her baby, wrapped tightly in a pink blanket. Five other women were in the room. I saw two Team wives who knew Mia. Another woman had dark curly hair and sat directly next to Annie. The remaining two included a stunning blonde with a dancer’s body and a gorgeous black woman wearing a white sundress.

I waved hesitantly at Annie, who was struck by the glow of new motherhood. Already a natural beauty, her skin was translucent, her hair dark and shiny. She motioned me into the room. I didn’t know what to say, conscious of my fake accent, my lies. “Hi. My name, it is Ksenya. I’m here together with Grant.”

Paul’s wife, Dara, gave me a dirty look, and Joe’s wife, Tori, didn’t even glance at me. I was sure they suspected exactly where Grant had met me. I expected to be scorned by Dara, but Tori’s dismissal shocked me. I never thought she’d be so openly rude. Tori had been my idol once, the dream Team wife. Totally committed to her husband since high school, faithful, great mom.

But more notable than who was there was who wasn’t. Where was April, Mitch’s wife? I’d last seen her at The Pickled Frog right after Joaquín was arrested. April always went to SEAL family events with their two kids in tow. In fact, she did her best never to let Mitch out of her sight, which was clearly a hard task.

Annie looked up from her newborn. “Nice to meet you, Ksenya. Thanks for coming.” Her voice was soothing and warm.

Tori still didn’t acknowledge my existence. “Annie, I’m gonna go check on the boys.” Dara followed Tori closely as if they were bound together by a leash.

The other ladies gave me polite nods, but no one offered an introduction. I tiptoed into the room, placed my purse on the floor, and stared at this tiny baby in her arms, doing my best to blink back tears.

“Her name is Cherie Esperanza. Do you want to hold her?” Annie’s kind eyes focused on me as if she understood me. Or maybe the emotions in the room were causing me to read way more into this situation.

Esperanza—hope in Spanish. Could meeting this little baby be a sign for me not to lose hope?

I didn’t want to hold Cherie, not because I felt cold and emotionally dead inside, though that was part of it. I didn’t want to cradle her, see her cute little button nose, lips the shape of a bow. One coo and I’d have a breakdown. Not here, not now. Not when I’d come so far to forget.

Before I could object, Annie placed the precious baby in my arms. I held in a breath as the fresh new-baby smell wafted through my nostrils. One lone tear escaped from my eye before I could stop it. This beautiful baby forced me to savor living in the moment.

A lump grew in the back of my throat, and for the first time since I’d transformed, I was angry. Angry at the man who’d ruined my life and destroyed my relationship with Grant. Angry at the drunk driver who’d killed my parents. Angry at whoever had killed Tiffany. And, frankly, angry that Joaquín was stupid enough to put himself in a situation like that.

I had to believe this life detour was part of my path and that one day I’d be lucky enough to have my own family. Joaquín would be free, he would rebuild his life, and so would I.