Page 25 of Sway

Nicole, Iza, Jenny, Salomé, Diana, and I are posing side by side like contestants for Miss Universe, complete with heels, breast tape, and fake smiles. But that’s what makes this show so great—there are thirty-one adaptations of Dancing under the Stars around the world and over ninety million people have watched a version. But America’s version is the best.

“Well, Maria, this season is so exciting,” Nicole, Miss Australia, says. “We’re dancing with the most dynamic bunch of celebrities yet. And even more exciting, we have the best group of professional dancers.”

I roll my eyes.

“Viktoria, you’re the two-time reigning Dancing under the Stars champion. How does it feel to share the stage with new competition?”

Miss Ukraine’s turn to shine. “There is actually no competition, Maria.” I focus on the camera and try not to blink at the blinding light in my face. Nicole digs her long nails in my back. “Ahh, what I mean is that we have all known each other for so long and we’re such good friends, that it’s great joy to me to have them on show.” I flash a smile.

“How do you feel about the new girls, Izabella?”

“It’s great all us girls from different countries can be brought together through dance.” Good answer, Miss Poland. “I’m so happy to be representative of Poland.”

Maria turns to the other runners up. “Salomé, Diana, and Jennifer. Is there anything you each would like to tell your new fans?”

Miss China steps up to the podium. “Of course, Maria. I’m thrilled to be a positive role model for young Asian-American girls everywhere.”

“Thank you, Jennifer. Diana, same question?”

Miss America gets a great big smile on her face. “I just want to say I love you to my fiancé, Robert, who is a Corporal in the United States Marine Corps and currently deployed to Iraq. To all the men and women in the military, I’m competing for you.”

Maria seems especially delighted with Diana’s Miss Congeniality act. Why everyone loves her is beyond me. “And finally, Salomé, what would you like to say to your fans?”

Miss Mexico looks lost. “Uhm, I don’t know. I love dancing and Dolla is great and all. So far it’s been real cool.”

See, I told Benny she would be a mess.

Maria obviously agrees and ends the video immediately. “Thank you, ladies.” She signals to the camera crew to set up for another interview for the professional male dancers. They gather all their equipment and corral the men. The minute she is out of eyesight we all drop our linked arms and happy smiles.

Oh shit, I see my babushka, wearing her favorite black Donna Karan dress, chatting up Salomé’s abuela. Those two are probably plotting a way to make Salomé and me best friends again. Baba always took her side.

Jenny pokes my rib cage, her fake smile reactivated. What is Miss China up to?

“So, Vika,” she says, “you seem to have great chemistry with Tony. What exactly is your secret?”

Ah, Miss China reveals her hand. “I’m sexy. That’s all.” I smile right back at her. “I can’t believe they didn’t kick you off show tonight. You’re lucky that Ricardo’s partner broke her ankle and they withdrew.”

Jenny starts coughing.

“Might want to suck on drop for that cough,” I continue. “We can’t have you getting sick. Gabriel says tonight is first night of mandatory fun. Hope you didn’t forget.”

Jenny puts her arms around Salomé and Diana. “How could we forget? We’ve all been looking so forward to bonding. Shall we?”

I see my baba and Señora Sanchez motioning for us to come over. “I’ll meet you girls outside.” I flick Salomé’s shoulder. “You joining with me?”

She reluctantly disconnects from Jenny. “Yeah, guys. I’ll be there in a second.” The rest of the girls disperse. I grab Salomé’s hand, put on a smile, and we walk over to see our grandmas.

“Babula, did you like the show?” I say in Russian. Salomé and her abuela are babbling in Spanish.

Baba kisses me. “Vikochka, darling. You were so beautiful out there. Tony is handsome man.” Her tired green eyes twinkle and reflect off the sparkling emerald ring I bought her after I married Benny. “And I’m so glad you and Salomé are friends again. I always liked her.”

I put my arm around Salomé and squeeze her. “It’s been so great to see her again.” No need to upset Baba.

Señora Sanchez gives me a big hug. “Vika, you look amazing. I almost don’t recognize you. But you’re too skinny. Next time you are in Marin, you come over and I’ll make your favorite tamales.” Oh, I used to love her tamales. It would almost be worth making up with Salomé to have a few bites.

“I’d love to, Senora Sanchez. Muchas gracias. Sorry to run off, but we have to go to event.” We all hug it out and Salomé and I link arms and head to our limo. The minute we’re out of eyesight, I push Salomé off me. “That was dreadful. I hope they don’t come to every show.”

“Well, abuela will be here every night.”