Page 91 of Special Delivery

“What happened?” Jordan asks, her eyes searching my body for traces of harm.

“Let’s sit down first,” Emma says, and they lead me to their coral couch. They each sit on one side of me before Emma clears her throat. “Nothing happened.”

A sarcastic snort escapes me. Jordan looks at us with confusion.

Emma continues, her voice gentle. “We saw Ryan. And he was with a kid.”

I snort. “Yeah, that’s exactly what happened, Emma.” I turn to Jordan. “Ryan was dropping off what seemed to be a third grader at a woman’s house.”

“It still doesn’t have to mean what you already decided it means,” Emma adds.

“Yeah. I guess I’m the crazy one to freak out after seeing him with a daughter I didn’t even know existed.”

“Why do you think it’s his daughter?” Jordan asks.

“Pfft.” I roll my eyes. “You should’ve seen them.”

“Don’t you think Kim would’ve mentioned a granddaughter? Or we would notice him talking to his child while we shared a villa for a full week?”

I inhale a shaky breath. Her words are exactly what my mind tried to conjure, but it got lost in the thick fog of my previous trauma. It doesn’t relieve my anxiety one bit.

“Yeah, well, Isabelle also told us he was dating someone just before Labor Day. Maybe even after, who the hell knows?”

The two of them share a look of concern. Jordan speaks first. “You spent a lot of time with Ryan these past few days, Paige.”

“So?” My tone gets higher as my patience wanes. Why don’t they get it? “I spent four years with Bradley. I was blind to the fact that he had a whole other family for four fucking years, Jordan. Maybe I’m just that naïve. That stupid. Maybe it’s my destiny to always be the other woman. Maybe I’m cursed or something.”

“Look, I get it. Technically, there’s a possibility that Ryan has a daughter no one knows about, and he’s also dating someone else. There are also probably a million other explanations for what happened. Why didn’t you ask him about it?”

“She ran away before he noticed us,” Emma states.

“Well, why don’t you talk to him and find out?” Jordan adds.

“No.” I shake my head firmly. “Don’t you get it, Jordan? Even if the whole thing isn’t what it seems, the image is already here.” My finger taps my temple. “The seed of doubt has already sprouted inside me. I can’t trust him. I can’t trust anyone. I knew that before. It was why I refused to get back into dating. Because I knew this was going to happen. I knew it.”

And that’s the root of it. For a split second, I forgot how wounded I was. For a split second, I thought I could act like a normal human being and everything would work out. But it doesn’t work that way. Not for me. My heart broke into a million pieces once before. It can never be whole again.

This whole thing with Ryan was a charade. An attempt to pretend I’m something I’m not. A person capable of love, of trust. It’s probably good that this thing happened today. Better to get heartbroken after a month than after a year.

Still, my lungs seize and heart squeezes with pain. My stomach churns and my eyes are heavy with tears.

“I can’t do this, Jordan.” My voice is barely a whisper. “Not again.”

“Fine. But you’re staying with us tonight.”

Too tired to argue, I agree. Why does it hurt so much to be betrayed by someone I didn’t even care about? How did my idiot of a heart manage to grow feelings for someone when feelings were forbidden?

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

Ryan

My weekend with Chrissy was perfect, except for the tiny fact that I missed the hell out of a certain stepsister. Parker was working a shift, so I dropped Chrissy off at her aunt’s before texting Paige in hopes she’ll ask me to come over.

It’s not even sex I want.

Okay, I definitely want to have sex with her, but it’s so much more. It’s the fact that my heart is peaceful when I’m near her, and my head is silent. The head that is usually always on, ready to wreak havoc on me, is quiet when I’m near her.

Her response doesn’t arrive.