Page 102 of Special Delivery

“What’s the plan?”

“You want to know my plan?” I tuck a dark lock of hair behind her ear. She nods. “There’s this woman I’m absolutely crazy about. She always wanted to travel. So, I’m heading to Peru, where I know she wants to go, hoping, praying she might come with me.”

“This was a momentary lapse of judgment.” She shakes her head. “I blame the wedding hormones, or the alcohol… but you can’t be serious in asking me to come with you.”

“Why the hell not?”

“I thought you didn’t do relationships.”

Attempting to act casual, I shrug, but my ribs hurt with the force with which my heart is pounding. “I guess I was just never in love before. And I’m so fucking in love with you, Paige.”

She stares at me with her mouth parted before finally forming a response. “What would you even do there?”

“I don’t know. I could freelance. Or I could support my stunning girlfriend by helping her launch a travel blog, something she actually wants to do. I had my life planned out before, and it didn’t really work out the way I hoped. I think I’ll follow my gut now.”

“What if I don’t come?”

“Then we’ll both be heartbroken.” I use the pause to inhale deeply and extract an envelope from my chest pocket.

“What’s this?” she asks, wrapping her manicured fingers around the white paper.

“Your plane ticket, of course. Hope a day is enough time to pack.”

“Why are you so sure I’m coming?”

“I’m not.” I lift her chin with my fingers. “I’m fucking terrified. I’ve never done anything remotely as vulnerable as this. But if I’m asking you to be vulnerable with me, the least I can do is to be vulnerable in return.”

“I don’t know… I don’t know if I can come.”

“I know.” I press the lightest of kisses onto her soft lips. “But I really fucking hope you do.” My thumb runs over her bottom lip before I turn on my heel and leave the sunroom.

My bones rattle with a shiver as my heartbeat buzzes in my ears. This is a decision I can’t force her into. She needs to make it on her own. No matter how petrifying it is.

CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

Paige

Ryan disappears from the wedding, leaving me in shambles. My chest yearns to run after him, but my feet stay rooted firmly in place for God knows how long. Shoulders shaking, I try to pull myself together, even though he turned me inside out. My skin suddenly feels exposed, as if I’m standing naked in front of a crowd, and I know the feeling very well. It’s vulnerability.

The urge to run away from it lights a fire under me, though a part of me is gravely aware there’s no way to escape. Still, I rub my fingers under my eyes, take a deep, shaky breath, and head back to the wedding.

With razor-sharp focus, I grab my purse before spotting the newlyweds. Perfect. I need to politely excuse myself, and then I can go home. Where I can fall apart in peace.

“Kim, Dad… the wedding was beautiful, but I think I’ll head home now.”

Kim’s mouth drops. “Are you feeling okay? How are you getting home?”

“I’m fine, thank you. Just tired. And I’ll grab a rideshare, don’t worry.”

Dad’s narrowed eyes gaze at me with suspicion, so I rush to make my exit. “Once again, congrats.”

They both hug me but luckily let me go. On my way out, I notice Emma and Jordan still tearing up the dance floor, and my heart squeezes in my chest. I’d kill for a hug right now, but answering a single question would be enough to make my façade collapse like a house of cards.

I wake with a head-splitting headache, which instantly reminds me of Ryan. If I didn’t know better, I’d think it’s the result of a hangover, but the few drinks I had have nothing on the hours of crying afterward. The sun came up before I could fall asleep, hugging that damn envelope close to my chest.

I extract the boarding pass once again, surprised the ink is still showing after being run through my fingers so many times.

My hand feels for my phone, finding it dead. I guess I’ve read through our texts one too many times for my battery to handle.