Page 49 of Depraved

He drops a kiss on my shoulder. “Dance for me.”

I shake my head, fear fluttering in the center of my chest.

Shirley’s phantom fingernails dig into the back of my skull, and my head is submerged in icy water. I can’t breathe. I’m going to drown.

Just like my parents…

“Breathe, Karolina. You’re safe. You’re with me.”

I draw in a ragged breath.

“Good girl. Another. Keep breathing.”

I obey, and my lungs burn in protest.

“No one will hurt you here,” he soothes. “I won’t let them.”

His corded arms flex around me, reassuring me that nothing will get past him. Nothing can harm me while he’s holding me.

“I’m scared,” I admit. “I know it’s not rational, but I feel…” I choke on the admission as though I’m coughing up water. “I can still feel her fingernails cutting into my scalp. I remember the way her cane burned when she lashed my thighs.”

“Shirley is dead. So is Charlie. They can never hurt us again.”

I turn in his arms, so I can look up into his familiar eyes.

“They’re dead?”

He nods, but his jaw ticks. He’s anxious about my reaction.

Because I know the truth. I read it plainly on his new face.

“You killed them.”

He searches my eyes, trying to discern the tumultuous feelings that churn inside me.

I trace the taut line of his jaw. “You did it for me?”

He leans into my tentative touch. “Yes.” He blows out a long breath. “And I did it for me. They will never abuse another child.”

“It wasn’t just for us,” I surmise. “You did it for the others, too.”

I take a moment to consider him. “You said all the men you killed in the ring were criminals. Is that why you don’t feel bad about it? Because you prevented them from hurting more people?”

He huffs. “If you’re trying to picture me as some sort of righteous vigilante, you’re wrong.” His fingers trail through my hair. “You’ve always wanted to see good in me, and I love you for it. I’m addicted to the way you look at me.”

“And how is it that I look at you?”

His eyes darken. “Like I’m not a monster. Like I’m not capable of terrible things.”

I go up onto my toes and press a soft kiss to the harsh slash of his lips. “I know you’ll always protect me, and that means you’re capable of violence. But I also know you have a good heart. That’s all that matters to me.”

He shakes his head. “You see me like no one else, but you’ve never accepted the truth. My heart isn’t good. It’s selfish and possessive. I would burn the world for you, Karolina, and I wouldn’t feel an ounce of remorse.”

A shiver dances down my spine, but I’m not afraid.

I brush his caramel hair back from his cheek. Unlike his buzz cut when he was younger, the long locks frame his perfectly constructed features.

“I accept all of you,” I promise. “I’ve done terrible things, too, and you accept me. We have each other, just like always.”