Page 385 of Wicked Brutal

“And tomorrow morning, you're still going to be here.” She looks at me. “You're still going to be here, baby.”

Ally moves into me. I wrap both arms around her. And somewhere outside, far enough away that I can barely hear it, children's voices carry down the street.

One of them is Tobias. Laughing. Coming home.

Ally smiles against my chest and doesn't move.

Ally

It’s the first week of October, and Ryan hasn’t let go of my hand in almost two hours. Even when I tell him he can. Even when Darla convinces me to get out of the bed and walk around the room again. Even when a nurse comes in to check the monitors and he has to move out of her way — he only lets go long enough to step around her before his fingers find mine again.

Another contraction starts low in my stomach, and I stop walking.

Ryan feels me tense before I say anything, his attention snapping to me. “Another one?”

I nod, and he moves in front of me so I can grab his shoulders as the pressure starts wrapping around my back.

Darla is already moving. “Back again?” Her palm presses against my lower back. “More.” S

he pushes harder, and I close my eyes and breathe against Ryan’s chest as the pain climbs.

His hand moves slowly up and down my side. “That’s it, baby.”

My fingers curl into his shirt. “I’m tired.”

“I know.”

“So tired.”

“I know.” He kisses my temple. “You’re doing so good.”

“I don’t feel like I am.”

“You are.” There’s no hesitation. No empty reassurance. He says it like it’s simply true.

I press my face harder against him. He doesn’t tell me to breathe. Doesn’t count. Doesn’t tell me what my body is supposed to be doing — Darla has spent most of the day teaching all of us that sometimes the best thing he can do is let me find my own way through it. So he holds me, and Darla keeps the pressure against my back, and I get through another one.

When it finally begins to ease, everything in me goes loose. Ryan tightens his arms before my knees can. “I’ve got you.”

“I know.” I stay against him for a few seconds. Maybe longer.

His heartbeat is fast beneath my ear. He’s scared — he’s been scared all day. He tries to hide it, but I know him too well now. Every time someone checks the monitors, his eyes follow. Every time a nurse comes in, he watches her face before he listens to her words. Every time Darla explains something, he listens like he’ll be tested on it later. But when he looks at me, he makes himself calm. For me.

I lift my head. “You okay?”

His eyebrows pull together. “I’m not the one in labor.”

“That wasn’t what I asked.”

His mouth softens. “Yeah.”

“Liar.”

“A little terrified.”

I reach up and touch his cheek. “Me too.”

His eyes hold mine. Then he turns his head and kisses my palm. “We can be terrified together.”