Page 183 of Wicked Brutal

“You act like you’re expendable!” The words hit so hard I actually step back. Ryan is breathing hard. His eyes are wild. Angry. Scared. “You will walk straight into fucking traffic if Tobias is standing on the other side.”

“Yes!”

“THAT’S THE FUCKING PROBLEM!”

“He is my brother!”

“And you’re carrying my fucking baby!”

The room goes dead quiet. My eyes burn. “That doesn’t make me yours to control.”

Ryan’s face changes immediately. “I didn’t say it did.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Bullshit.”

“You think because you’re scared you get to decide everything.”

“I think because I’m scared I’m trying to keep the people I fucking love alive!”

“And I think I’ve had enough men deciding what’s best for me!” That stops him. Completely. My voice breaks. I hate it. I keep going anyway. “My dad decides where I live. Victor decides what kind of wife I’m supposed to be. My dad decides where I go to school, who drives me, who I’m allowed to talk to. Teachers are watching me. Daniel watches me. Everybody is fucking watching me.” Ryan doesn’t move. “And then today you decided how much humiliation I could handle.” His face falls. “You decided my writing was acceptable collateral because it made your plan work.”

“Ally—“

“No. You wanted me to talk. I’m fucking talking.” His mouth shuts. “You knew.” My eyes are burning now. “You knew exactly what that notebook meant to me.”

“Yes.”

“You knew what Switzerland meant.”

“Yes.”

“And you used both.”

“Yes.” No excuse. No Bennett was watching. No I had to. Just yes. It almost makes me angrier.

“You hurt me.”

His eyes don’t leave mine. “I did.”

“I knew it was fake, and you still fucking hurt me.”

“I know.”

“STOP SAYING YOU KNOW!”

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK ELSE YOU WANT ME TO SAY!” The shout explodes out of him. Good. There he fucking is.

“I want you to admit you didn’t have to do it like that!”

“I DIDN’T!” Silence. Ryan drags both hands through his hair. “I didn’t.” His voice is rough now. “I could’ve done something else. I could’ve picked something else. I could’ve stopped before Switzerland. I fucking didn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I saw Bennett watching and I panicked!” That shuts me up. Ryan laughs once. Ugly. “You want the fucking truth? There it is. I panicked.”

“You don’t panic.”