Page 144 of Wicked Brutal

My throat starts to ache. “Before April?”

“I don’t know.”

I look down at his hand beneath mine. “I’m going to start showing. I’m already looking at my stomach every morning.”

Ryan turns toward me. “Do you think it’s changed?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes I think yes. Then I think I’m imagining it because I know the baby’s there.” His thumb moves slowly across my stomach. “But eventually I won’t be imagining it.”

“No.”

“What if my body gives us away before Arthur has enough?” Ryan doesn’t answer. My eyes burn. “What if we don’t get Tobias out before I start showing?”

“We’ll adjust.”

“How?” His mouth opens. Nothing comes out. “Ryan.”

“I don’t know yet.” I stare at him. Ryan Harrington always has an answer. Maybe not a good answer. Maybe not a legal answer. Maybe something so completely fucking insane that everyone around him threatens to kill him themselves. But he has one. Tonight he doesn’t.

“What happens if Dad notices?”

Ryan’s hand covers mine. “I don’t know.”

“He’ll know it’s not Victor’s. He’ll know I slept with someone. And if he figures out it’s you—What happens?”

His eyes hold mine. “I don’t know.”

Again. Those three words scare me more than anything else tonight.

“What happens when Victor finds out I’m pregnant?”

Ryan’s entire expression turns lethal again. “He doesn’t get near you.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“I can fucking try.”

“Ryan.”

He looks away. Then back. “No. I can’t promise it.” That hurts him. I see it. “I can promise we’re working on it. Arthur is working on it. My dad is working on it. Every person who sat in that room this morning is working on it.”

“But nobody can tell me when.”

“No.”

For the first time tonight, his anger disappears. Not completely. It’s still there. But something else takes its place. Fear. Ryan Harrington is scared. And somehow that’s worse.

“I fucking hate saying that to you. I want to give you a date. I want to tell you exactly how many more nights you have to climb out that stupid fucking window. I want to tell you when Tobias is going to walk through this house and know he doesn’t have to go back.” My eyes fill. Ryan’s hand spreads over my stomach. “I want to tell you that before anybody can see this baby, you’re already here.”

“Me too.”

“But I can’t.” A tear slips down my cheek. Ryan catches it with his thumb. “I won’t lie to you because it feels better tonight.”

“I know.”

“I can dig. I can follow people. I can find money. I can help Arthur put pieces together. But I can’t make the federal government move faster because my girlfriend’s body is running on a clock they don’t give a shit about.”

I close my eyes. “I hate this. What if we don’t get there fast enough?”