Page 55 of Rot In Knotty Pieces

“They remember Robin. Our twin. How she died. How we became this.”

“How do we make her forget?” King asks at once.

“We don’t. We’re strong enough now to hold the memory. She’s strong enough. Just look after her. Protect her. But let her remember. It’s time.”

In quick, precise words, Jay outlines the worst of what happened, and I feel the alpha holding me go still, his horror blending into his scent.

Jay retreats as King absorbs that emotional blow. I sob, my eyes blurring with the tears I can’t hold back. I tremble, so small, so breakable.

I’m just a useless blackbird.

“All right. Okay. I’ve got you, Merle. I’m not going to let go. It’s you, and it’s me. We’re in this together now. I’m going to take care of you. You don’t need to worry about anything.”

King murmurs again, a little curse, and lifts me up into his arms. I’m even smaller in his arms, but he holds me like I’m the most precious thing he’s ever held. He carries us swiftly back to the camp and brings me into the tent where, one by one, the members of the pack come and join us until I’m surrounded by their bodies and scents.

Layer by layer, I am covered with blankets, with legs, with arms. Alphas stroke my skin and hair. Touches that tell me they are there, touches that remind me I’m not alone. King holds me close and lets out a rough purr, one that he maintains for hours. I cry until my eyes are swollen. My body shakes, I refuse food and water and curl tighter, but they don’t leave me.

I can feel them all around me.

Blaze leans over and kisses my forehead. “Sleep, Omega. It’s time for you to rest now. You have grieved, and you have mourned, but you are alive, and you are loved. We will take care of you, so sleep, and when you wake up, it won’t be quite as painful, and we will be here, right here, waiting for you.”

I can’t resist his bark, and I don’t want to. He is kind and gentle and more than I deserve. When he lies down on my other side, I reach out and hold the arm that curls over my hip.

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

They say those words every time I whimper. Every time I cry.

Over and over.

We are here.

I try to rise during the night, driven by the terror and restless grief, or the memories drag me up, but every single time my distress spikes, an alpha is there using a bark and a purr to shove it away.

They soothe my fear, my shame, my guilt, and my grief.

They tell me it’s not my fault. That I was a child, that I couldn’t have done anything. Words I have needed so badly to hear. Words that start healing the gaping wounds inside me.

I lay there, and I remember Robin and how her hand felt in mine. I remember her smile and how she hated hurting people. She was gentle and kind and so much stronger than I was.

How could I have forgotten her?

“Merle.”

I open my eyes and find Sage lying nose to nose with me.

“You are here in my arms, and you are safe. No one will hurt you. No one can hurt you here. The memories are just memories. It’s already happened. But this? My fingers on your skin, my kiss, that’s real.”

I clutch his large hand and hold it between my breasts, staring into his eyes. Forcing myself to focus on the here and now.

“Sleep, we will keep you safe.”

Soft touches, softer kisses, warm bodies. Scents that bring comfort, not fear. Everything an omega needs to feel safe. Plus a nest that belongs to me and my omega.

The cracks that shattered across my mind mend, not completely, just enough to hold us together.

It takes time, but when I wake up, I don’t feel like I’m going to break into a million pieces. I just feel sad, so deeply sad that I don’t know if I will ever be happy again.

There’s only one place I want to be. I crawl over the alphas and curl up in Pix’s arms, burying my face in his neck, pressing my lips to that spot where his scent is concentrated.