Page 33 of Rot In Knotty Pieces

“We haven’t discussed it yet, but what are they going to need, and how is it…what will happen?” Blaze is unsure. It’s cute. In all our shared memories, he’s almost always certain, confident, assured.

I stare at him, trying to get my head around it, and then I catch the heat scent that is seeping out of my skin, despite the fact that I’m the alter in charge. Biology can’t be denied, I think bitterly.

“Not sure. I suspect you’ll see the omegas and soon. Apparently, I have timed my grand arrival poorly.”

“Which are? We just want to be certain.”

“Kestrel, Raptor, and Merle. Jay leans towards alpha, I’m a beta, and Dove doesn’t have a designation. I have no desire or drive or will. The heat feels like it’s happening to someone else.”

“Are you all okay with what’s going to happen?”

“Are Jay and I going to come out stabby?” I snort a laugh. “No. We will…sleep, I guess is the right word. Only waking if we’re called. Not like we have a choice, is it?”

“Okay, that’s…a relief.”

I side-eye him and see that he’s being honest. He is relieved. I try to think about the situation from his point of view, and it’s kinda horrifying. I empty the cup and hand it back.

“Is there any water?”

He pulls out a canteen and hands it to me. I drink deeply before handing it back and wandering off into the forest to take care of business. I find a stream and follow it away from the camp, then wash myself in the cold water until I feel more human again.

I crouch on the side of the stream, staring at the water.

We got lucky that Roseland found Dove. I shudder to think what could have happened to us if someone else had found us. There is so much I have to do, so much that’s going to be bad and dangerous.

But first, we have to get through the heat.

It’s inconvenient.

And dangerous it always is. The other heats we’ve had have been spent with me holding on as hard as I can, trying to hold back the waves while the omegas scream in agony. I kept us locked in abandoned buildings, far away from alphas and temptation.

They hated me for it.

This time, I won’t be able to hold them back, but I need to trust these alphas. Can they protect us? I’m still not sure, but I don’t have a choice. The omegas have decided they want these alphas.

Who cares what I want. I press the heels of my hands to my eyes, trying to push away these bitter thoughts.

I reach out and let the cool water run over my fingers.

There were dead birds, and drawings etched on tree trunks, and signs of Father everywhere. The alters don’t see it or recognise the significance. But I have been watching through their eyes, and I know we’re not as free as we think we are.

However, when Dove took over…I don’t remember anything. All the time is gone, and she didn’t know what to look for. It’s frustrating, and there’s only one alter who will be able to tell what happened when Dove was fronting.

It’s time to deal with Kestrel. She cannot continue to hide. I close my eyes and go into that circular room inside me.

Kestrel is staring into space, her eyes blank. Raptor and Merle are standing together silently, while Dove sits on Jay’s lap.

I shudder, stretching my wings out and stalk across the space, my heels clicking and echoing around the chamber. I walk straight up to her and lean over so our faces are just a hand’s width apart.

“Snap out of it.”

She stares.

“We need you. The heat’s here. You have to go in and make sure we survive it.”

Nothing.

I want to scream.