Page 31 of Rot In Knotty Pieces

“Decoys?” I croak.

He grumbles but pulls a towel and starts rubbing my naked body down. When I’m dry, he helps me dress. It’s harder than I thought it would be because I’m so cold. He grabs my wrist and drags me back to the camp. I’m stumbling and barely able to stay upright, but he refuses to slow down.

We reach it, and he places a finger to his lips. I stand there, shaking and feeling like a drowned and scolded rat while he dries off and changes his clothes. Only then does he grab me and pull me into his arms.

With a growl, he wrenches open the tent and drags me inside, closing it and pulling me down into a nest of sleeping bags and alphas.

Pix’s heat scent is weaker but still just as sharp. It’s almost fully here.

“You have two hours to sleep, then we’re up and moving again,” Rolly hisses, and I know he’s annoyed with me. I could almost regret it, but this is what I do. I keep us safe.

It’s nice to be held, though. He doesn’t want sex; he doesn’t want anything but for me to sleep. It’s a strange and pleasant feeling, and I find myself snuggling deeper into his arms.

Before I can think, I’m being shaken awake. Blaze’s lips are in a tight line as he helps me up. They pack up the tent and get everything out and ready to go without speaking a single word to me.

I refuse to admit I’m wrong. I did the right thing. It will keep us all safe, they have no idea what Father is like and how far his reach is.

We set out. Rolly stays close. Rose ignores me, his jaw clenching and his eyes filled with hurt every time I glance in his direction, but it’s Blaze and King who are the most angry.

I ignore them all, focusing instead on putting one foot in front of the other. Following through, the hours blend together, and I have no idea where I am. My feet ache, my legs tremble, my brain is like cotton wool.

The others keep trying to push through, but even in this weakened state, I’m not dumb enough to do something that would end us all, so I put all my energy into holding them off, ignoring the knife-like pain in my head and the shouting of the others.

Kestrel is the only one who stays completely and utterly silent. I find that worrying. Why has she been so quiet since the whipping? Did he finally break her?

I stumble and fall hard to my knees. I try to get up, but I can’t do it. There’s nothing left. No energy, no strength. It’s just me and this path I have to follow, but I’ve been doing it so long and alone, and I don’t know how to ask for help.

I don’t know how to-

Rose swings me up and crushes me to his chest. My legs feel like jelly, and everything hurts. The feel of him, the smell of him breaks the control I always carry. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his chest, letting those awful tears fall.

“You idiot. Just ask. You just needed to ask. I need help. Say it with me.”

“I need help!” I whisper. “Rose, help me.”

“Stupid, stubborn idiot.”

He swings me up into his arms and turns, and I find them all there. All I needed to do was ask?

Why is asking for help so impossible?

Why are those words not even in my vocabulary?

Why can’t I even think them?

We move faster now that I’m in Rose’s arms, and soon, I’m drifting off, falling asleep.

“Are you okay?” Rose asks at one point.

“I’m okay. I’m fine. We’ve had worse.”

Someone curses, but I don’t know who, and I’m too tired to find out.

“You’ve had worse than what he did?”

I nod. “Mm-hmm. Much worse. Can’t remember it all. But that’s why there are six of us. Something terrible happened, and we just broke,” I say, and it’s strange that my words are slurring.

“Did it hurt?”