Page 24 of April’s Fool

I don’t want his words to affect me, but I dig in deep. Not because of what he’s implying, but the opposite. Will Fool toss me aside because I won’t have sex? It’s not that I don’t want to; boy, do I ever. He’s the first guy I’ve even considered doing other things with.

Each night we’ve slept in the same bed, and it’s been him holding me, us kissing and making out, though he never pushes for more, not even when I could feel his thickness pressing into me.

Behind me, I can still hear them as they follow, but the minute I push through the door, my heart lurches as I see all the girls surrounding Fool. He doesn’t seem to be enjoying the swarm of women, but Hazard’s with him, and he seems to be eating it up.

Fool’s eyes lock on mine, and I drop my gaze first, shake my head, and keep moving, holding my notebook close to my chest. When he catches up to me, his hand grips my bicep, stopping me.

“What’s wrong?” he demands, stepping in front of me. When I don’t answer or look at him, he grips my chin and forces my head up. “Talk to me, April. Tell me what’s going on.”

I suck in a shaky breath and divert my gaze as I ask, “Why are you doing this?”

“Look at me, baby,” he demands, calling me ‘baby’ when he usually calls me ‘sweets’. The way the simple endearment rolls off his tongue turns the lurch in my chest into an ache. I like when he calls me ‘sweets’, but the way he says ‘baby’ so soft and gentle feels even better. “What are you asking me?”

“Why are you so sweet to me? You could have any woman in your bed you want, someone who will give you what you want, and yet you’re here. You don’t push me, but I know you want more. I mean, guys always want sex, and yet you’ve slept next to me for the past eight nights and haven’t even tried. Is it a test? Once you get it, you’ll toss me to the side for something new⁠—”

“I’m gonna stop you right fuckin’ there,” Fool growls, stepping deeper into my space. One arm wraps around my waist, the other sinking into my hair, holding tight.

My arms have nowhere to go because he’s holding me so tight. All I can do is stare at him and see the rage clear as day in his emerald eyes.

“I’m not sure what the hell happened to make you doubt what’s going on here, but I’m gonna find out. I’ll clear something up for you right here and now. You’re not a one-and-done, April. I’ve never thought of you that way, and I wouldn’t. I’m not in this just to fuck you. Do I want to sink into you and fuck you senseless? Fuck yeah, I do. But I won’t force myself on you. I’m not going to throw you away, either. I can live with a hard-on and blue balls until you’re ready.”

“And if I’m not ready until I’m married?” I blurt.

“Then I’d better put a ring on your finger soon, because I’ve spent the past week with you every damn day and I’ve learned one thing I know for certain. No woman has meant more to me than you do, April. You gotta understand what’s happening here. I can sleep next to you without nightmares. I can go to bed without fearing I’ll wake up screaming, because I’ve got you to hold close. I haven’t wanted that in my entire life. Not even with my ex did I want that, and I planned to marry her.”

He hadn’t mentioned his ex since the day he took me to the clubhouse.

“You want to wait to be married? Fine with me. That means I’ll be the only damn one who gets inside you, ‘cause I’m telling you, baby, you’re mine, and I’m not going to fuck it up by fucking you once and tossing you away. I’m not going to let others put thoughts of doubt in your head, and we’ll talk about that after I get you back to the apartment, but first, I’m gonna make something clear, here and now.”

Before I can ask what he’s going to make clear, his mouth crashes down on mine. Not the gentle kisses we’ve shared before, but something possessive, claiming. His tongue sweeps into my mouth, and I melt against him, forgetting we’re in the middle of campus.

When he breaks the kiss, he rests his forehead against mine as we both try to steady our breathing. “That’s how I feel about you. And if you need me to prove it every damn day, I’ll gladly do just that to show not only you but everyone around you.”

My knees feel weak as he takes my hand, lacing our fingers together.

“Now, let’s get you home so you can tell me in private what the hell happened,” he says, letting me go, then taking my bag and books and tucking me to his side.

“You ready to tell me what happened earlier?” Fool asks, retaking his seat on my couch and pulling me to his side.

Sighing, I curl deeper into him. Since the kiss he laid on me and what he said, I’ve been thinking about it all. His words swirl around in my head on repeat. He sleeps next to me. He doesn’t wake screaming. I’m who he wants. I’m meant for him.

It’s all sweet, and I love he says I mean something to him, but it still scares me.

“Samuel got to me,” I admit.

Fool tenses and tightens his arm around me. “What did that fucker say to you?”

“I really don’t want to repeat it.” I didn’t. It’s stupid, and I know I shouldn’t have let his words get to me, but I did. Just not in the way Samuel wanted them to, well, maybe it was somewhat. I don’t know.

“Sweets, you gotta know, you’re safe with me. Safe to tell me this type of shit.”

“I know.” I tilt my head back to glance up at him. “I shouldn’t have let it get to me. But I guess, in a way, what he said was already in the back of my head, and when I stepped out of the building, it freaked me out because I knew he was right, in a way.”

“What did he say?” I don’t miss the alert tone in his voice.

“Said he didn’t take me for being a biker slut and that guys like you will eventually toss me to the side after you get your fill. That I should’ve just played with him because then I wouldn’t have to worry about getting tossed aside.” Those weren’t his exact words, but it’s the gist of it.

“I’m gonna kill that fucker,” he growls, tightening his arm around me, his eyes flashing with the same rage I’d seen earlier.