Page 118 of The Substitute Fiancée

“I don’t know how to do that,” I admit—and it may be the first time I’ve ever been that honest with myself.

“You’re going to have to learn,” Oliver says simply. “And it won’t happen in a day. It’s going to be long, hard, humiliating at times. You’re going to have to face parts of yourself you’d rather ignore. But if Sam truly matters to you, you don’t have a choice.”

He sets his glass down and stands.

“Start by forgiving yourself for being human and imperfect. Not to excuse what you did—that’s inexcusable. But to accept that you fucked up and that you can do better. Then, and only then, you might be able to ask Sam for a chance to prove it.”

After he leaves, I sit in the dark for a long time, his words echoing in my mind like a relentless refrain.

Become the man who deserves her forgiveness.

I don’t know if I’m capable of it, but I have to try.

*

I thought I’d hit rock bottom.

I was wrong.

My phone vibrates. Pathetically, I hope it’s her.

It’s Emelyne. She’s never called me directly before.

My heart tightens.

Something has happened to Sam.

I answer before the second ring.

“You’re an asshole.”

Her voice is a blade. Sharp. Cold. Final.

“She’s been working night and day for weeks just to earn a chance to present for her diploma. And you couldn’t think of anything better than tearing her apart in front of her entire school. The day before she faces the academic committee.”

The words hit me full force.

The day before.

She presents tomorrow!

“I didn’t know,” I whisper.

A bitter laugh.

“Of course you didn’t. Because you never asked.”

Silence. Then her voice changes. Drops. Becomes worried.

“She’s been home for two hour. She hasn’t said a word. She’s not even crying. If Dorian hadn’t called me to explain everything, I still wouldn’t know what happened. And now I don’t know what to do. If she stays like this, she won’t be able to defend her project tomorrow.”

“I’m coming.”

“What? No, you’re not—”

“You said it yourself. You don’t know what to do. I do.”

I hang up.