Page 64 of Code Violation

“I’ll keep this short, Ves.” Silas rocked back on his heels, and I noticed his fingers twitching in his pockets.

He was nervous and likely feeling awkward after the way things had been left the last time we spoke.

“I’m okay, you know.” I tried reassuring him, this time making more of an effort with my smile. “Kane and I fight like a regular couple, and he’s been going through a lot of stress lately.”

Silas stepped toward me, and frustration marred his features as he braced one hand on the doorjamb above my head.

Even though he was close and loomed over me like his brother often did, I didn’t feel an ounce of intimidation in his presence.

“Why are you making excuses for him, Vesper?”

I scoffed and looked off down the road, trying to disguise the way I shook from the cold. It was biting through my clothes now, settling into my bones.

“I’m not making excuses for him,” I lied.

Silas was calling me out, but he didn’t understand the full picture.

I was ashamed to admit that our relationship wasn’t healthy. The only other relationship experience I’d had was the marriage between my parents, and frankly, it wasn’t dissimilar to mine and Kane’s. It felt like walking away from Kane now would be admitting that we’d failed, and despite everything, I still loved him. I knew if I left, his drinking would get worse, and I didn’t want to be the reason for his spiral.

But at the same time, I’d promised myself that if things got any worse, then I would end the relationship. It felt like I was in a constant, unbreakable cycle. Whenever I told Kane I was leaving, he’d get his act together.

“If it’s money you’re worried about, I can help out.”

Nausea swirled in my gut. Money was another factor in my decision to try and make this work with Kane. But I wasn’t taking handouts from anyone. I was too proud for that.

“Silas …” I dropped my attention to the ground. “Don’t you have a girlfriend of your own to worry about?”

When our eyes met again, I saw a flicker of something uneasy in his gaze.

Hurt?

Sadness?

Despair?

I couldn’t be sure.

“I don’t have a girlfriend, Vesper—you know that.”

I opted to take advantage of the turn in subject. At least now we weren’t focused on my relationship with Kane.

“I think if you met someone and moved in with them, then you’d understand that relationships aren’t all roses once you’re out of the honeymoon phase. You don’t live in the real world, Silas.” I pointed down the street, as if two hundred yards represented the rest of mankind. “You live in a bubble of fame, money, and an endless line of beautiful women, and you never have to worry about the next overdue bill. Kane and I are constantly under stress, living paycheck to paycheck. It takes its toll on us.”

“I’ve lived in—and I still understand—the real world,” he instantly retorted.

Silas was right; he had lived a very real life. Every word I’d just said to him was unfair. With a father in lockup and a mother who was gravely sick with cancer, Silas was more than aware of how tough life could be.

Still, I couldn’t help the way I bit out the next words.

I was in defense mode. My default setting whenever Silas was around.

“Yeah? Well, maybe you’ve just forgotten what it’s like.”

Brows pinched, he shook his head, and a wave of guilt washed through me.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my breath becoming more noticeable as the night sky drew in. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

I wasn’t sure how long we’d been standing out here, but the sun was definitely fading.