Page 51 of Code Violation

Silas catches my hand, kissing across my knuckles in a way that ignites my soul.

I wish he could stay.

Even more, I wish we could sleep together again. If I’m going to take this tablet, it might as well do the job for two rounds of unprotected sex.

“You’re thinking bad thoughts, aren’t you, Ves?”

My knees weaken at the gruffness in his voice. It oozes sex, just like his body language.

“I was being wholly irresponsible again.”

He kisses the center of my palm before pushing my hair back and gliding his hot mouth down the side of my neck.

I feel my thong grow damp, a neediness taking hold of me once more.

“I can understand why we lost control last night, Vesper. The way we want each other is undeniable. An indisputable attraction pulling us together.”

My core throbs, body begging to be back in Silas’s arms. Not because of the comfort and safety he brings me, but because I want to be there.

“You should probably go.” I let my better judgment win out. “I can’t imagine the captain being late for practice is a good look.”

He doesn’t move his lips from my neck. “Tristan can lead us into the session. Coach is being more amenable, given our positive start to the season.”

“I’ll be okay, I promise.”

He looks at me like he believes that statement about as much as I do.

“You don’t have to put on a brave face with me. You know that, don’t you?”

I bite down on my bottom lip to prevent it from trembling. I do have to be brave because I don’t have another option right now. As much as I wish that we did. Silas doesn’t want to run the risk of having a baby with me—the woman he shared one passionate night with. There are a thousand less complicated women out there, waiting and eager to date him.

And truthfully, as much as I want to start a family one day, I know I’m not in a position to be a single mom.

“I can stay with you while you take it. I’ll tell Coach that a family emergency came up.”

I rest a hand against his chest. “Thank you for offering, but that really isn’t necessary. If I throw up the pill, I’ll just get another one. My shift doesn’t start until seven p.m., so any headache or nausea should pass by then.”

Silas grips the back of his neck, unhappy with this whole situation.

Fucking same.

“If you need me, then I don’t want you to hesitate to call me. I’ll keep my phone rink-side.”

I have zero intention of contacting him because I’ve survived the first twenty-four years of my life just fine, and I’m too stubbornly independent to rely on any man, going forward. Even a considerate one like Silas.

“I promise I’ll contact you.”

The lie is convincing enough for him to set one last kiss on my forehead before he makes for the door, pausing one final time with his hand on the bolt.

“Last night was everything, Ves. Fucking everything.”

“Just take the damn pill, Vesper,” I hiss at myself, staring down at the tiny white tablet in my sweaty palm.

There are only so many times I can delay the inevitable.

On a deep swallow, I set the pill back down and refill my water glass from the bathroom faucet, having finally worked up the courage to do it. The sooner I take it, the sooner all this will be over.

Taking a swig of water, I hold it in my mouth when my phone buzzes on the counter with a text message.