Page 49 of Code Violation

She pulls the towel from her hair, and I step up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist.

“My shampoo smells way better on you than it does on me.”

She tips her chin over one shoulder, and I think about kissing her. I really want to, but now doesn’t seem like the right time. I can sense her unease, and I pray she isn’t regretting everything about last night.

Personally, I wouldn’t take a single second back, not even the part where we both lost our inhibitions and I came inside her. There isn’t another woman in this universe I want.

I slide my hands to her waist and turn Vesper around in my arms.

Without an inch of makeup, she looks more vulnerable than ever.

“Can I tell you something?” I speak low, almost whispering.

Innocent eyes stare up at me. “Anything.”

She feels so tiny, my handspan covering the width of her hips.

“I want to be open with you, Ves. I feel like there’s something eating at you, and I don’t want you to feel like you’re the only one whose mind is spinning out this morning.”

She tips her head to one side, waiting for me to elaborate.

“I don’t know if I was the first guy you slept with without a condom, but you were the first girl for me. The only girl I have ever been so wrapped up in that I forgot to ask about contraception.”

Like we’re both thinking the same thing, Vesper drops her eyes, and we both look at her stomach.

Could she be pregnant with my baby?

A soft, almost-defeated sigh fills the space between us, and I hook a finger under her chin, bringing her attention back to my eyes.

“Kane … he refused to wear condoms every single time we were together. He viewed birth control as the woman’s responsibility. Pills, injections, patches—they all made me feel like crap. And when I tried an IUD, I got an infection.” She sighs again, only harder this time. “So, after I slept with Kane for the final time, I thought, You know what? Fuck it. I’m coming off birth control because the next man I sleep with will wear a damn condom, or he’s coming nowhere near my vagina.”

I love that she decided to make choices for herself, although it doesn’t prevent the heartache tearing through me.

Who the fuck does Kane think he is?

He’s no brother of mine—that’s for damn sure.

Vesper frowns. “I’m disappointed in myself, Si. I should’ve taken control, and instead, I got carried away in the moment.”

She drops her head down, and I pull her into my body, resting my chin atop her head. She really does smell so good. Like home.

“I’ve taken more Plan Bs than I can count, each time because I freaked out that I could be carrying Kane’s child.” Her eyes shine when she pulls her head back up. “Do you know how hard that is for a woman? To want a family so badly, but to be too scared to start one with your own boyfriend because you’ll be tied to him forever and so will the baby? So, instead, I did what it took to make sure I wasn’t pregnant and dealt with the migraines those damn fucking pills gave me every time I took them.”

Closing my eyes, I lean down and rest my forehead against Vesper’s.

“I know you’re nothing like Kane, and believe me when I say, I have zero regrets over last night. It just feels like history is repeating itself this morning.”

There’s so much I want to tell her. Like I’m not afraid to have a baby with her because she is the only future I can see.

“Are you hungry?” I eventually ask, pissed at myself for backing out of what I really wanted to say.

My subconscious takes over, and I rest a palm on Vesper’s stomach, locking eyes with her for the longest time. “I made fresh coffee and strawberry waffles while you were in the shower, if you’re interested?”

After a beat, she smiles, and, damn, if that doesn’t make my whole fucking day.

Vesper’s happiness is my utopia. Until more recently, I don’t think I even knew how hard I always tried to make her laugh, despite the way Kane drained the life out of her.

“Waffles actually sound really good.”