Page 55 of Not Until I Found You

“You too. Goodnight, Zane.”

I slip into my car before my resolve breaks, easing the door shut. As I drive away, the feeling chases me down the road…that I belonged there. I didn’t just fit in or “made it through the evening without embarrassing myself.” No, I belonged in a way I haven’t felt…ever.

Back home, my so-called friends scattered within a week of Derek and me ending things. I told myself I was fine so many times I almost believed it myself. But tonight, people who’ve just met me folded me into their dinner plans like I’d always had a seat at that table.

I smile the whole drive back to Ashton’s cabin, and somewhere past the second turn, the smile slips. Because I know exactly what happens to the things I let myself want too much.

Chapter Thirteen

Zane

The Kentucky heat has announced that summer has officially arrived. It’s the kind of temperature that’s sticky, clinging to your skin, and requires you to shower in the morning and again at night. It’s also the reason Ryland let us off work earlier today. There was no way we were going to finish up the metal roof we’ve been working on with the sun blazing down on us.

The second Ryland said we could call it quits for the day, the only thing I thought about was jumping into the lake as soon as I got home. What I didn’t expect was to see Maxinne sitting at the edge of the wooden dock.

Her back is to me, legs dangling into the water, and she’s completely unaware of my presence. I hesitate, unsure whether to announce myself or quietly retreat to give her space. Sven makes the choice for me as he runs toward her. His golden fur flows in the air around him as he sidles up next to her and slips his head into her lap. The dog has it bad for her.

I can’t say I blame him, because lately the gravity between us has grown stronger every time we’re in the same room together. I’ve tried to avoid her, but it’s been nearly impossible when she lives right next door and I keep finding excuses to wander her way. It’s as if my heart is tricking my brain into wanting something I shouldn’t desire. Something I’m not even sure I’m ready for. And yet, every part of me keeps seeking her.

It’s not only her smile that keeps finding its way into my thoughts, but the way she sees beauty in things most people walk right past. How she packed up her entire life and came here to help her family, or the way she keeps showing up, even when she’s hurting. Every time I look at her, I see someone who’s trying to put the pieces back together, and I find myself wanting to help.

“Hey, boy,” she greets Sven, giving him a pat on the head before leaning in to wrap her arms around him. Her body twists around until she sees me, and I wave awkwardly before shoving my hands into my pockets. “You’re home early.”

“The heat had us shutting down for the day.” I shrug my shoulders and take another step toward her. “What are you doing out here?”

Her smile slips, and I immediately wish I could swallow the words back down. Her gaze drops to Sven, her fingers combing through his fur with slow, distracted strokes until they land on her lap, and that’s when I see it—an old, weathered Bible sitting there.

“I needed a minute,” she replies, placing a hand onto the Bible, though her words sound more like a confession than an answer. “It’s been…a day.”

She doesn’t elaborate, and I should probably turn around and give her some space, but I let my feet close the distance. I lower myself onto the deck beside her, telling myself that a good friend would ask about her day, or make sure she’s okay, and sit in the quiet with her if that’s what she needs.

We’re friends, after all. She needs that version of me right now. Not the guy who’s terrified that even a few inches too close might give away how hard my heart is pounding.

“Is this okay?” I ask.

Her face shifts, as if she’s putting on a mask to hide whatever is really going on. “Yeah.”

I nod and give myself something to do by peeling off my work boots and socks, praying they don’t reek after sweating all day. I dip my feet in, and the water cools my overheated skin. I let out a slow, relieved breath and watch as the lake water laps gently at the shore. Around us, the cicadas are buzzing in waves through the trees, and an owl calls somewhere far off.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask gently.

Maxinne exhales, her shoulders dropping with it, as she swirls her feet in the water next to mine. “Things with my dad are still strained. It’s been hard to build any kind of connection with him. I had hoped that, with some time, things would get better between us, but who knows how much time we’ll have left for a second chance. I’m scared that he’ll always feel like a stranger to me.” She lets out an exhale, and my heart fills with sympathy for her. “At least I’ve been able to adjust to the farm chores.”

She forces a small smile that doesn’t reach her eyes and goes back to swirling her feet in the water.

“I can’t imagine how tough that must be for you both.”

I’ve witnessed Ashton wrestle with the same fear ever since their dad’s stroke. The constant worry about how much time they have left and what the future will look like for him. Ashton’s at least had years with the man. Maxinne’s had a few weeks, trying to build something real with a man who won’t hand over the one thing she really needs: the truth about why he left. Time is the one thing none of us get to earn back, and I’m glad she’s at least getting some of it now. Even if it’s limited and not exactly what she expected.

“I’m sorry, Max,” I add.

She lifts her head, and there’s an appreciation shining within her chocolate-brown eyes.

“What about things with your mom? Has she been okay with everything?”

Maxinne huffs in distaste.

“No. That’s another thing I dealt with today. She’s been completely spun out ever since I told her I was in Covewood. She calls nonstop, threatening to take off work and drive down here, either to help or to keep an eye on me—I still haven’t figured out which.”