Page 5 of It Was Always You

Lily rolled her eyes. ‘I’m definitely not getting thin, Mamá. You’re imagining that.’

Her mum shrugged and she cupped Lily’s face in her palm. ‘Me dirás cuando estés listo.’ You’ll tell me when you’re ready. I don’t think I ever will be, Mum.

Her mum rubbed her thumb over the apple of Lily’s cheek and kissed her head. ‘Quiero ayudar a tu hija.’

‘I know you want to help me. But there’s nothing you can help me with,’ Lily replied as sadness tugged at her insides.

‘Te quiero mucho, cariño.’

Lily smiled. ‘I love you too, Mamá.’

Lily’s dreams were filled with visions of Adam. Only in her dreams he slipped his hands into her hair and kissed her like they did in movies, as something romantic and swoony played in the background. Then Lily was brought back to earth with a resounding thud when Adam began dating a girl he had met at his Saturday job at a pet shop and Lily had to push her feelings down. Far, far down, into a box in her mind that she slammed the lid on, padlocked and covered in metaphorical concrete.

Or at least she tried.

Neither broached the subject after that. Things went back to normal; whatever normal was. Although, it turned out that Gaia had more pressing issues to deal with and her prayers for this to be a little crush, a passing phase, or imagined, were not answered. For Lily, normal became loving Adam from afar. And for Adam normal continued to be playing tennis and dating girls, lots of girls.

How different one person’s normal can be from another’s.

TRACK 3

‘ADAM AND EVE’ (PAUL ANKA)

September 2011 onwards, Edinburgh University

Adam and Lily had both applied to the same universities – apparently unintentionally – and they were both accepted by Edinburgh; both four-year BA (Hons) courses; Journalism for Lily and English Literature for Adam. They had been overjoyed and had got rather drunk to celebrate. It was just a continuation of life as they knew it. Always together, never apart.

Edinburgh University had been the first choice for both Adam and Lily for several reasons. To begin with, it wasn’t a million miles away from home in the Scottish Borders. Secondly, Edinburgh was the most amazingly bright and culturally varied city, making it an exhilarating place to study. The atmosphere was electric, and the history was enough to keep even the most enquiring minds sated. The multi-coloured buildings of Grassmarket’s curved street brought a smile on the dullest of days, and the multitude of bars and restaurants meant that even a student’s meagre purse could be accommodated.

Another attraction for the pair was the Fringe Festival that took place annually in the month of August right in the city centre. It was such a blast with comedians and street performers taking over every available inch of the Royal Mile and every venue with a room to spare. The place came alive with laughter, fancy costumes, and vivid colours. Myriad aromas wafted through the air from vending carts, tantalising the taste buds, and a wide variety of music vied for the attention of each person’s auditory senses.

You could walk down the street and be accosted by all manner of characters, wielding leaflets and free tickets, trying to entice you in to see their shows. Both Adam and Lily had been making the trip up to the capital city every year, together of course. When they were younger, they would travel to the festival with their parents, who had become friends through their children, but once they got older, they travelled by themselves, feeling very grown-up and independent.

Although they had spent many Christmas shopping trips in Scotland’s capital, both Lily and Adam never failed to be overwhelmed by the stunning stonework as they gazed upward. The Scott monument stood in its proud position overlooking the main shopping thoroughfare of Princes Street. The imposing castle, high on its rocky precipice, peered out over the city below. History and hidden stories from days past oozed from the very mortar of the churches and tenements in the Old Town area. Even the hidden street of Mary King’s Close had eerie, spooky tales of witches and foul play to share beneath the now modern and bustling city above. Edinburgh truly was a spectacular city and the decision to study there had been made with very little trepidation.

Freshers’ week was a blast. Too much alcohol, but so many laughs and new friendships were established. The excitement got the adrenaline pumping because this was the start of life as an adult; the first week of the rest of their lives.

‘I can’t believe we’re finally here, Adders!’ Lily twirled around, arms spread, and head back with her long chocolate waves flowing like streamers, as they took in the centre quadrangle of the Old College. They had been taking the self-guided tour of the campus and had stopped on the grass to take a break and grab a quick drink of water. The sun was surprisingly warm for the time of year, and its presence, hanging low in the early-autumn sky, cast a golden glow over everything, giving an ethereal quality to the old architecture.

Adam watched Lily with an expression of incredulity as she collapsed dizzily in a heap next to him. ‘Yup, it’s pretty spectacular, eh? Bit of a change from high school, that’s for sure.’

Lily stood again. ‘You’re not kidding. I’m looking forward to being treated like an adult,’ she stated as she began to spin around again with her eyes closed.

He burst out laughing. ‘Yeah… because that’s what you are, eh? An adult!’

Lily stuck out her tongue and plopped herself down beside him again. ‘Durrr, I’m officially eighteen, so, yes. Are you happy you decided to live in halls for the first year?’ They had several options, from renting a place, to driving in every day, to living in halls. They had both chosen the latter.

Adam replied, ‘Yeah. I think it’ll be much better to get the whole university experience.’ He pulled at blades of grass and threw them at her.

Lily rolled her eyes. ‘Yeah right, that’s the reason. I think what you mean is that we’re out from under our parents’ scrutinising gaze, and what they don’t know can’t hurt them.’ She pulled a huge chunk of grass and threw it back at Adam in retaliation.

He laughed heartily and wagged his finger at her. ‘Oh yeah, that’s what I meant.’ He brushed the grass from his shirt. ‘Seriously though, I think it’ll be cool.’

Lily grinned. ‘I reckon so. And we’re close enough by so that if you need me for anything⁠—’

‘If I need you for anything? Don’t you mean that the other way around? You’re the one who’s always forgetting shit. I can see it now. Ooh, Adders, I’ve run out of coffee… ooh, Adders, I can’t find my textbook on the Principles and Practices of Investigative Journalism… Oooh, Adders, my boyfriend has dumped me because I’m still in love with Paolo Nutini. If I need you, pah!’

Lily’s obsession with the Paisley-born singer had started back in 2006 when she had first heard him singing ‘Last Request’ live on some TV show. The heartfelt lyrics had made her cry and that’s all it had taken.