Page 3 of It Was Always You

Lily forced a smile. ‘Hmm, no one worthy of my time up to now, but I never give up hope.’

Adam looked thoughtful for a while. ‘The thing is… you’ll go back to working abroad for the BBC… and I’ll… I’ll be here on my own.’ Tears escaped again and his bottom lip trembled.

It killed Lily to see him like this. Why did this have to happen? It seemed so unfair.

Taking his face in both hands, she stared into his eyes. ‘Look, I’m here for the next week. Then I’ll be here for Christmas. And in between that, I’m at the end of a video call or at the end of an email or WhatsApp. I’m not leaving you. I’ll always be here for you, Adam. And if it all gets too much, then you just ask, and I will come home.’

He covered her hands with his own. ‘Thank you.’ He pulled her to him in a tight embrace and sobbed again.

Adam and Lily had been friends since… well… forever. They met at primary school when Lily and her parents moved into a house across the street from him in the picturesque Scottish Borders town of Jedburgh where he lived with his mum, dad and younger brother, Patrick, aka Paddy. Jedburgh was packed with history with its ruined abbey, castle jail and the notable Queen Mary’s house. Surrounded by stunning scenery, and a stone’s throw from the Eildon Hills and the Cheviots, it was a little oasis only ten miles from the England–Scotland border and was a gateway town for visitors travelling north to the Highlands and the rest of Scotland.

From long before Adam told off Stewart Campbell for pushing Lily over and pinching her crisps, the two friends had been inseparable. He defended her at every given opportunity. They were two halves of the same whole. Two peas in a pod. They were the couple most likely to become a couple at high school but had never actually made the transition from friends to something more than that. Always together but… never together.

And here she sat by his side on the day of his wife’s funeral. Offering whatever she could of her time and closeness – anything to ease his pain and suffering. Taking time away from her job was not something she did lightly. But she would cross the fires of hell if he needed her, and she knew, without a single doubt, that he’d do the same.

TRACK 2

‘SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW’ (KEANE)

Before Eve

Adam and Lily’s friendship remained strong throughout the tricky time that was high school. From the nineties, when their friendship began at primary school, all the way through high school and right up until university, everyone thought it was sweet that they were still best friends. No one thought it weird, two heterosexual members of the opposite sex being just friends. In fact, it didn’t matter to anyone. They never suffered teasing because it was just the norm.

As they grew up, Adam was always the one to vet the prospective boyfriends Lily had chosen. If he didn’t think they were good enough, he would tell her straight. More often than not she agreed, and the boy was rapidly kicked to the kerb. Likewise, Lily had very strong opinions when it came to potentially sacrificing time with her best friend to another girl. She didn’t beat about the bush making her feelings known either.

High school had been a nightmare for Lily. She developed quickly and got a lot of attention – very positive attention from boys, but jealousy, spitefulness, and bitchiness from girls. She earned a reputation, not at all befitting her true self, and learned quickly that teenage girls can be extremely cruel. She made no female friends to speak of, and so her reliance on Adam was further compounded. She knew he had tried frequently to stop the wretched rumour mill from turning. But his efforts were futile. Regardless of what he said, people would believe what they wanted to believe. She did, however, appreciate his efforts and told him so frequently.

It had been said, although she wasn’t sure by whom, that her Spanish heritage – womanly curves, bright blue eyes, and dark unruly curls – gave her the appearance of being both exotic and a little wild and free-spirited, rather like Cathy from Wuthering Heights, her favourite book. And she was aware that at some point Adam would have to give up playing the big brother role as it was evidently exhausting. But aside from her parents, he was the one constant in her life.

However, during the summer of 2011, the year they had both turned eighteen within a month of each other, there was one heartbreak Adam couldn’t help Lily through. Why could he offer no solace?

Because he could never know about it.

The summer holidays prior to starting university had been fateful for Lily. It was a summer that in some ways broke her, and one she would never forget. Because it was the year she realised she was in love.

With Adam.

She didn’t mean to fall for him. It was a complete accident. But fall for him she did.

And hard.

She didn’t want to be in love with him at all, but as she discovered the hard way, you simply cannot help who you fall for, nor can you help when it happens. She knew Adam simply didn’t see her that way. He never would. He had always been her big brother, her protector, and her guardian angel.

He was tall and had dark floppy hair back then. His chocolate-brown eyes sparkled when he spoke, and his full lips were so kissable. He had saved up and bought a set of weights, which he used in his room religiously. She used to laugh at him and call him vain, at first. But other girls started to notice him.

Looking back, she couldn’t quite put her finger on when she actually fell for him, but she could remember the day she realised that it had happened. It was the day they had played tennis at the high school’s outdoor court. He had overheated and removed his T-shirt…

High-school summer holidays – Jedburgh, 2011

They had taken a break from playing games on the outdated Wii console with Paddy, who Lily had adopted as her little brother too. And while he was playing tennis against an avatar that looked distinctly like his older brother, Adam and Lily had escaped to the local tennis courts.

Lily was thankful that she’d put on shorts and a strappy top, as the summer heat on that July day was uncharacteristically unbearable. So far it had been the wettest summer they’d had in years, which was saying something for Scotland; however, on this particular Saturday the sun beat down on the asphalt court which had no shade to speak of. Sweat ran down Lily’s spine, and she pulled up her hair into a scruffy knot atop her head, securing it with a band she wore around her wrist.

‘Forty thirty!’ Adam huffed as he pulled his black Foo Fighters T-shirt over his head and tucked it into his belt. In doing so, he exposed a broad chest and shapely biceps. His abdomen was sculpted and almost every muscle was visible under his tight, sun-kissed skin. He bent to rest his hands on his knees.

Lily may have been losing, but she was putting up a good fight. ‘Well, that last ball was out as far as I’m concerned,’ she panted.

‘It was not!’ Adam’s voice rose an octave. ‘You’re just a sore loser.’