Page 29 of It Was Always You

She took a deep breath. ‘Because he’s my best friend in the whole world… always has been… and he just got engaged and moved in with the love of his life.’ Her legs almost gave way as she finally made the difficult admission that she had contemplated making to Bodhi only a few days before.

He held her and stroked her hair. ‘Oh, Lily… sweetheart…’

After letting her cry for a few minutes, he pushed her away and smiled sadly into her eyes. ‘Unrequited love is a complete fucking shithead of a bastard, isn’t it?’

She choked out a heartfelt laugh through her tears. ‘You certainly got that right.’

TRACK 13

‘WICKED GAME’ (DAISY GRAY COVER VERSION)

November 2016 – Scotland

‘This is the best flat we’ve seen all day, Lily. What do you think?’ Eve asked when the estate agent ducked outside to answer a call on his mobile phone. The flat was in a beautiful converted Victorian terrace on the outskirts of Edinburgh. The ceilings were high and the large original sash windows let in lots of light, making the small but perfectly formed space feel bright and airy.

Lily sighed. ‘Yeah, it’s small but I don’t suppose I need anything bigger.’

Putting an end to her travels, she had decided to return to Scotland with the remainder of her inheritance and begin the arduous task of finding work. She had several interviews lined up and a string of excellent references under her belt thanks to the work she’d done in Australia, New Zealand, and other countries she had visited. She was determined to do well at… Well, whatever she ended up doing. It would become her life and her main distraction.

Being back in Scotland caused a mixture of emotions to bubble to the surface for Lily. Eve and Adam were loving being in their new home and had initially insisted on Lily moving in with them until she found a place to live. Finding somewhere had now become a matter of urgency. Being under the same roof as the loved-up couple was difficult to bear. As much as she loved that Adam was happy, hearing him make love to Eve through the not-so-thick walls was the worst kind of torture. She knew they were holding back and trying to be quiet but why should they? It was their house, after all. She felt so very uncomfortable.

The estate agent returned to the lounge of the one-bedroom flat. ‘So, Miss Macrae, what do you think?’

Lily looked at Eve who nodded encouragingly. ‘Where do I sign?’

The two friends sat opposite each other in their favourite city-centre coffee house. Eve opened her mouth to speak but seemed hesitant.

Lily took a sip of her vanilla latte. ‘What’s wrong, Eve?’ she asked, tilting her head to one side.

‘Look, Lily… I hope you don’t think we’re trying to get rid of you. You’re welcome to stay at our house as long as you need, you know.’

‘It’s fine, honestly. I want to get out of your hair. You two need your space. You’re planning a wedding, and as much as I love Adam and you, I think I need my own space too.’

‘As long as you didn’t sign up for the flat because you feel pressured to leave. It’s not necessary. There’s no pressure. You haven’t been back long, and I’m just worried that being alone will give you too much time to think about Bodhi.’

Lily paused with her cup halfway to her lips. She hadn’t discussed what had happened between her and Bodhi with Adam and Eve for reasons obvious only to herself, but of course they were concerned that she had suffered a broken heart. She had, of course, but not at the hands of Bodhi and not really through anyone’s fault.

She closed her eyes for a second and tried to compose herself. ‘Bodhi and I parted as friends, Eve. It really is fine. We just… we wanted different things. He wanted a commitment and I wasn’t ready for that with him. That’s all. We parted so that he could move on and do his chef apprenticeship. It was what he wanted, and he needed to concentrate without worrying about me and whether we had a future.’ This was the most she had opened up since her return. She had tried to avoid talking about the situation and had been quickly changing the subject any time the matter arose.

Eve nodded. ‘I see. And you’re sure you’re okay? I mean really okay?’

Lily smiled and for a moment forgot who she was out with. Big mistake. ‘I’m really okay. Bodhi’s a great guy. He has a lot to offer a woman, and I don’t want him waiting around for me forever when I’m still in l—’ She stopped mid-sentence, a feeling of panic washing over her at her almost slip of the tongue. She could feel her cheeks burning, a dead giveaway. ‘Wh-when I’m in no position to offer what he needs.’ Lily’s eyes darted to Eve whose eyes were wide for a split second, but then Eve rearranged her pretty features into a smile and nodded, looking down at the table. Had she realised? Oh shit, that’s not good. Not good at all.

Eve lifted her gaze and unreadable emotions clouded her vivid blue eyes. A sad smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she leaned across the small table to squeeze Lily’s arm. ‘As long as you’re okay, Lily. A broken heart can be tough to get through alone.’

Adam was in the kitchen making dinner when he heard the girls arrive home. Eve appeared in the kitchen and slipped her arms around Adam’s waist.

He turned to face her and enveloped her in his embrace. ‘Well, hello there, sexy. How are you?’ He leaned down and kissed her passionately.

She smiled when the kiss ended. ‘I’m better now.’

Adam looked down at her and furrowed his brow. ‘Better now? What do you mean? Is everything okay?’

She nodded. ‘Yes, yes, everything’s fine. Just ignore me.’

Filled with concern, he wouldn’t let it go. ‘Come on, Evie, I know when something’s bothering you. Tell me.’

She shook her head. ‘It’s fine, honestly. I love you, Adam, more than anything. You know that, don’t you?’