Page 7 of Haunted Spurs

[Read the full interview in tomorrow’s special edition]

Gazette Verdict: The evil spirits are going to have to get in line, because we're predicting a horde of broken hearts ready to get haunted. If the paranormal doesn't scare you... just wait until you see the breadth of this cowboy's shoulders on primetime.

🎃 PANIC CORNER: INVASION OF THE FALL MASCOTS

If you’re on Main Street right now, you’re not hallucinating. It’s just Aunt Tina and Mrs. Lacey officially going into full showbiz-director mode.

The Cursed Scarecrow and the Pumpkin Ghost—our beloved mascots—are literally stopping traffic to hand out flyers.

Aunt Tina was spotted screaming at passersby: “I want dark souls! I want drama! I want your darkest desires on screen!”

💣 THE BIGGEST NEWS: CASTING IS OFFICIALLY OPEN (AND IT'S SPICY)

The application forms are ready. But fair warning: the producers of Haunted Spurs aren't looking for wholesome Sunday explorers or boring prudes. They want excess. They want unfiltered contestants—people who aren't the least bit afraid to air their eccentricities and deepest, dirtiest desires for the whole world to see.

Are you willing to put yourself out there with zero inhibitions? Are you ready to send the erotic tension skyrocketing just for the ratings? Then this is your show. Aunt Tina is on the hunt for brazen, provocative souls ready to clash (or tangle) after dark.

Who has the nerve to sign that contract? The gauntlet has been thrown down.

Citizens, toss your modesty out the window and get your crucifixes ready. Or, if necessary, your handcuffs.

(P.S. The official production clause states that you must strictly apply in pairs, and at least one participant must be a cowboy or cowgirl. Note: The pairs don't necessarily have to be romantic. We want to see you "get acquainted" with the other contestants during the show or, why not, with your own adventuring partner. Choose your partner in crime wisely!)

#HauntedSpurs #SpicyCasting #GhostCowboy #SpiritsAndSin

📱 ELM HOLLOW SOCIAL FEED

Trending now: #HauntedSpursIsHappening #RonInTheCast #FlannelAndPhantoms

🤳 @AuntTinaTok (Live reaction video from Town Hall - BREAKING NEWS - 4.5M views)

[In the video: Tina is sprinting out of the town hall. Her platinum blonde bouffant bounces with every step, her glasses knocked half-crooked from the hustle. Behind her, the Cursed Scarecrow trips, launching flyers into the air.]

"GIRLS! BOYS! SPIRITS OF PURGATORY! Drop whatever you're doing! HAUNTED SPURS IS HAPPENING! And the grand prize isn't just surviving the paranormal... IT'S SURVIVING HIM! 🥵

Ron Willers demanded to be in the cast! He just said it right in front of me!

CASTING IS OPEN, FLOOD MY INBOX! 👻🔥"

💬 Comments:

@MrsLaceyDramaQueen: So proud to be the art director! My community theater workshop is already pulling together the sets.

@MayorNinoOfficial: @MrsLaceyDramaQueen @AuntTinaTok that's what I like to see!

@Levi_FireDept: Let's hope the house doesn't catch fire from the spontaneous combustion caused by all this gossip. Anyway, for emergencies, the firehouse is on standby. 🔥 And Ron, try not to get possessed before filming starts.

@RonWillers_: @Levi_FireDept Jealous of my hat, huh neighbor? 😉

📸 INSTAGRAM STORIES – @ElmHollowGossipGirl

Story 1: A sneaky snap of a crumpled flyer, featuring kickass 80s horror movie graphics and neon lettering: "HAUNTED SPURS: ENTER IF YOU DARE."

Text: "Casting is officially open. The only thing truly terrifying us right now is the possibility of not making the cut. 🩸👻 #HauntedSpurs"

Story 2: A shot of Ron Willers from behind as he walks out of the town hall. His broad shoulders fill out his shirt, his Stetson is pulled perfectly low on the nape of his neck, and he's holding a happily wagging Ollie on a leash, bathed in the autumn sunlight.

Text: "Legend says the old Miller estate bleeds. So far, the only thing bleeding is our hearts. Who needs ghostbusters when we have him? 👀🔥 #GiveUsThisDayOurDailyCowboy #HauntedBarn"