Page 113 of Haunted Spurs

"No," I repeat, my voice slowly regaining some of its weight. "We're staying. Ask me... ask me your question of the day, Selene. And let's start looking for these goddamn padlocks."

I feel her chest rise and fall against mine. Her hand stops on the nape of my neck, her thumb stroking my skin. I hear her swallow in the darkness.

"O-okay," she murmurs. "T-tell me... how many serious relationships have you had?"

The absurdity of the question, asked in the middle of a panic attack inside a fake coffin, pulls a half-amused huff from me that scrapes my oxygen-starved lungs. "What? Why that, of all things?"

"I don't know, Ron, it's... it's the first thing that popped into my head."

The vaguely embarrassed and defensive tone she uses pulls a fragment of a real smile from me. "I'm definitely glad to know you think about my love life."

"I notice you're feeling much better, new-cowboy," she shoots back, her voice colored with her usual, wonderful biting sarcasm.

Yeah. It's true. I'm breathing again, and I know with absolute certainty that it is entirely thanks to her.

I slide my hands down her sides, blindly feeling the wood behind her back, searching for the buckles, as I let the words flow out.

"Not as many as you'd think, actually." I take a deep breath, syncing it exactly with hers, and continue, my voice dropping low, intimate in the dark. "I'm not the type to share or have fuck buddies, like I told you... but I haven't had any lasting relationships either. I..."

I inhale again, feeling a lump rise in my throat. "Fuck, I sound pathetic. But the truth is, I'm not used to things that last. I'm not used to being chosen. Everything in my life has always had an expiration date. But..." I find a cold leather buckle and unfasten it. "I'd like a forever to happen to me too, at least once."

I can't see her face, but I feel every single shift in her body.

I feel her breath catch in her lungs. The fingers she was running through my hair curl into fists, gripping the strands as if to hold onto me, while she gently rests her forehead against my chest. A feather-light shiver, almost a tremor, runs down her spine.

"What about you?" I ask her in a whisper, my fingers finding the cold metal of the first combination padlock.

I hear a bitter huff against my t-shirt. "One. And... well, let's just say it wasn't a great experience."

"Something tells me he's a fucking asshole," I growl under my breath, the mere thought of someone hurting her lighting a fire in my stomach.

"That's an understatement," she sighs, and the tired pain in her voice makes me clench my jaw. "Jim... always made a point of making me feel inadequate. Or maybe he didn't even try, you know? I think it just came naturally to him. Or..."

Jim.

So that's who the asshole in the internet comments was. An ex. A piece of shit.

"Or maybe I was the one encouraging him, maybe I was the one who didn't..."

"Don't even finish that fucking sentence, Selene."

I already know exactly where that self-destructive spiral is heading, and fuck that. Not on my watch.

I grab the padlock and unlock it with blind violence, slamming it against the wood out of pure rage toward a man I've never even met.

"You are gorgeous," I enunciate clearly, feeling for the second padlock. "Special. Smart. Unique. So fucking sexy you—"

"What else?" she interrupts me. I feel the warmth of her smile blooming in the dark against my skin. "Don't you think you're exaggerating a bit, Willers?"

"I could go on forever, Selly."

I feel another padlock click open under my fingers. There's something else I want to tell her. Something massive, heavy, definitive, pressing against my chest and burning my lungs. I can't find the right words to express it, or rather... I could find them, I know them perfectly well, but I am fucking terrified to say them out loud and see her reaction. I'm afraid she'll pull away.

Words that echo on the tip of my tongue as we open the last padlocks in the dark.

The air in the crate is still heavy, but my lungs have stopped burning.

The blind panic that was devouring me just a few minutes ago has retreated, tamed by Selene's solid, warm, real presence. I feel her steady breath against my chest, the scent of her skin filling this cramped space, and I realize that, for the first time, my lifeline isn't myself. It's her.