Page 153 of Finding Redemption

The doors close as our eyes meet for the last time. I fall against the wall when the elevator starts moving. I’m done now.

The three-and-a-half-hour drive home is miserable at best. I expelled every ounce of water from my body through my eyes. To make matters worse, Alden is waiting for me when I get home. My ass beat, I drag it from my Jeep.

“What the fuck was that, Reese?” Alden’s nostrils flare.

I hold my hand up, too battered to take his shit. “Stop, please. I love him, but I made a fucking promise I can’t go back on.” I step around him, fighting with the lock on my door.

“A promise? Like the one you made to Walker? To love him, to marry him.” His rage is palpable by his biting words.

I turn on him, barreling into him. I shove my finger in his face, ready to for the fight. “Don’t you fucking dare tell me what I’ve lost. You don’t get to do that. I told you. I fucking warned you all it was bad. Reading his damn files, finding out what a monster my dad picked over me. It was the worst of my life, knowing I had to leave Walker,” I scream, my chest breaking open.

“You had a fucking choice, dammit. You did this.” He steps away from me. “I refuse to bear witness to another minute of you ripping yourself apart for someone’s approval you’re never going to fucking get! Do you understand? Never.”

“No, I don’t understand.” My body quakes. “I’ll never make sense of why it was important to me. My father asked. Why did I do it knowing it would cost me everything? I. Don’t. Fucking. Know. But I had to.” I collapse on the ground. I have nothing left.

He throws his hands in the air. “That’s great, Reese. When your daughter asks why her father resents you, tell her it’s something you learned as a child.”

“Alden, please don’t leave me,” I beseech him as I sit in the ashes of what was once my life.

He swipes his face with the back of his hand. “I can’t watch another minute, Reese. I’ve stood by for years as you’ve destroyed everything good in your life because you decided you didn’t deserve it. But this,” he shakes his head, looking to the heavens, “it’s beyond what I can deal with.”

“I know.” I cry, my body involuntarily shaking as bile rises, choking me.

“All of this and it’s not even the worst thing you’ve done here.” My eyes dart to his. “You’ve left your child without a father. A good man, Reese. One that loves you and accepts you. For the love of a man who never gave a fuck about you. He used you to try and help his family, his son.” Alden turns his back on me, walking away.

I try to stand but the weight of my actions holds me down. I sit on the ground, demolished. I struggle to see inches in front of me, to find my balance. My knees buckling, and I hit the ground again. The hole in my chest is something I’ve created on my own.

Please, help me out of this hell. I fist my hair, screaming. Praying I can rid myself of the pure, unadulterated hatred I feel. In my darkest moment, his arms are around me, carrying me to higher ground. His whispers, comforting me, helping me to breathe.

“Baby, it’s okay. Calm down.”

I nuzzle into him, finding peace in the ruins of my soul. “I’m so sorry.” I peek from under my swollen eyes, not capable of seeing his face.

“No, baby. You’re all right.” I feel the bed shift, laying me down with care. Love.

I wake early the next morning, drenched in sweat. My hair is stuck to my face, and tissues are everywhere. My head feels as though I’ve butted it against a wall a thousand times. It’s so bad, my hair hurts. I scoot to the edge of the bed, easing from it. The need to pee is forever present.

I wander through my apartment, flipping lights on as I go. Stopping by the bathroom, I find a wet washcloth on the sink. I don’t even remember getting it. I walk into the kitchen, opening the fridge for something cold. It’s full. I’m not sure why I didn’t notice before.

Walker.

He’s taken care of me all these weeks. I’ve been running from him, but he’s been right here. I step back, falling into the chair when I realize he was here last night. After the pain I caused him, he was here. Wiping my tears and taking care of me.

I can’t live without him. I’ve pushed him away so many ways, but he stands strong. He was right. He said he wouldn’t leave me. I wrecked my life, hoping to find the love I’ve searched for so long, only to find it where I left it.

“Will he forgive me?”

I grab my phone, checking the time. Six in the morning. I hesitate for a second but type the text anyway.

I need to talk.

Come on over.

I wash my face and I’m out the door. I have to fix the mess I’ve made. But first, I need to figure me out. I can’t think of a better person to talk to about it. Twenty minutes later, I pull up to the front door. It opens, and my heart strikes a simple beat. Of one I don’t deserve. Hope.

“Come in.” The smile warms my heart.

“Thank you, Ava.” I step through the door.