Page 32 of Changing Lanes

“Thank you. And again, thank you for having me,” Brannon offers as he nods to them both.

“So, Brannon. How long do you think you’ll be living with my daughter? Or should we plan to put you on the payroll?” My father wastes no time with his first cut.

“As long as she wants me there, I suppose. And not yet, I’m waiting on this engineering thing to pull through. Thank you, it was nice of you to think of me.” Brannon folds his hands in front of him. He handled that well. My face, on the other hand, flames red with embarrassment. I shoot my father a lingering glare, but he pays me no attention.

“Let’s hope her tastes change soon, for all our sakes.” My father goads him as he pins him with beady eyes.

“I couldn’t agree more. I’m not sure what could be worse, except for not being able to pick family.” Brannon lays his arm on the back of my chair as my father narrows his eyes.

Dinner continues without another word. My mother chances a few glances at Brannon with a smile on her face. I think she likes Brannon standing up to my father or the fact he stands up for me. My revelry is short-lived when my father makes a not so subtle demand as we leave the dining room.

“Torrence, I want you in my office. Now.” Rolling my eyes at Brannon, I try to make light of the situation. He’s not having any of it, and he stares down my father until he walks into his office.

“Please. Do not allow him to hurt you, I believe in you.” He kisses me as if he’s sending me to my death. Fuck.

“I’ll be fine. Promise.” I kiss him back, sweetly. The butterflies in my stomach don’t agree.

The office door is open as I approach it. I straighten my skirt before entering, making a mental note to disregard most of what he has prepared to say. He stands by the fireplace, smoking his cigar. More than likely to calm his nerves.

“What do you want, Father?” I ask about halfway into the room.

“I refuse to play this game with you, young lady. Get your fucking head on straight, or I’ll do it for you.” His voice rises with every word, which is laced with disdain.

“I believe it is, sir.” I fold my arms around my waist and clench my jaw, trying to remain calm.

“Then you should know better than to come ill-prepared with a half ass example,” he spits at me.

“What exactly is it that you want?” I place my hand on my hip, popping it out to the side with a bit of attitude in my tone and stance. Bile rises in my throat like venom.

“You know damn well, young lady. Are you testing me? Are you using him to get to me? Or maybe, you’re just as ignorant as your farm boy is? Do you even know him? Know anything about him?” Spewing at me relentlessly, I know he has a drum to beat. I can’t seem to shake the feeling, this will be my biggest regret.

“We’re just getting to know each other. I’m sure your spies can verify that. But let me say this, he has shown me more respect and appreciation than you ever have.” Red in the face, I square myself on him.

“Really? Has he included any truth in what he has told you?” he asks as he gathers papers lying in front of him.

“He has been nothing but honest and forthright. Are there things I don’t know yet, probably. But I’m sure you’re about to tell me, so go on.” Waving my arms in front of me, confident in mine and Brannon’s relationship.

“His farm is close to defaulting on another loan. A farm he inherited when he killed his father at the age of fourteen.” He displays the papers in front of me.

Picking up the papers, I read over them quickly. Why in the hell would he not tell me this? I’m fucking peeved with him right now. I told him how my father is, what he’s capable of. I’ve already told my father all he wants to know by not responding. Nevertheless, I stand by Brannon. There’s a reason he hasn’t shared it with me.

“It’s his story to tell. How dare you do this to him,” I’m seething as I toss the papers on his desk.

“What is wrong with me checking him out. He killed his father and now, I fear for you. He needs money. It’s obvious he knows you have it. Do you really think he loves you? You have been nothing more than a fuck that he’s hoping to make a buck from. I guarantee if I were to offer him some money, he’d be gone by morning,” he declares. I can’t seem to stop shaking, I feel sick.

“You’re wrong. Brannon is the best person I have ever met. He has never asked me for anything but simple respect. He gives me more than you ever have. If I only have him and a rundown farm, I’d be honored to be by his side.” Spinning on my heels, I try not to run from the room.

“Torrence! You better be damn sure about your choice. This is about more than college or a credit card. I will buy that damn farm and sell it off in pieces before I let you do this. I will destroy him. And I’ll take you down with him.” Wheeling around, I turn on my father like never before.

“Go ahead. You know, Father. I was once told there would be a time when I would have to decide between the love I have and the love I want. I thought it meant to choose between your love and his love. In this moment, I understand. I have his love, it’s always been yours I wanted. I will choose him.” Jerking the door open, it slams against the wall as I exit his office.

I can’t even stand being under the same roof with him right now. Grabbing my coat, I sprint for the door. Running as fast as I can in my heels across the lawn, I try the door to the pool house. Luckily, it’s open. I don’t bother with a light, I prefer to be alone for a while. I curl up in the side chair and unleash my tears. I’ve played by his rules my entire life. Never wanting more than his love.

Piece by piece, he has destroyed the woman I should have been. Fierce. Confident. Loving and more than capable to be loved. No one has ever made me feel like I’m less of a person than my father. But most all, I’ve had to live knowing I’ll never be enough for him. No matter what I do, I will never be the son he wanted. I will always be his biggest disappointment. My father has never looked me in the eyes. He has never said that he’s proud of me or even hugged me.

I know I sound like a spoiled child. My father has never raised his hand to me. I have never been without shelter or food. I’ve always gotten everything I ever wanted, everything but his love. I know how lucky I am to have all that, I do, but I would give it all away to hear him say, ‘I love you, Torrie’.

I need to find Brannon and tell him everything, that my father wants to destroy him because of me. He’s stood by me, waiting for me to take a stand. He knows this is something I have to do. Brannon has shown me more love and acceptance than my father ever has.