Page 79 of The Wilder Widows

“No,” Alice defended me. “The point is to find out if he’s a troll before he sees her. That way, if it’s a no-go, we can get the hell out of here without being detected.”

“Thank you. Exactly,” I said.

Despite my mini-meltdown, I didn’t really care if he was still the gorgeous man I remembered. I loved Tom for Tom... not just his striking good looks. And God was he something to behold back then. Even if he was five hundred pounds and bald now, I doubted my feelings would subside even a little. As long as he looked at me with those eyes... those golden orbs that stared straight into my soul, my love for him wouldn’t dream of fading. No. His looks didn’t worry me. My hesitation had nothing to do with the superficial. When I thought of facing Tom after all these years – I just didn’t know what to say. How to feel. How to process all the emotions racing around inside of me like the Indy 500. Tom... my Tom... was just a few hundred feet away.

“So, what do I do?” Doris asked, keeping the car moving.

Alice waved her forward. “Just keep circling the block. He’s got to come out eventually, right?”

“Right. Good plan,” Marge agreed. “Keep moving, Doris. It’s harder to hit a moving target.”

“We’re not under fire, Marge.” Alice laughed.

“You know what I mean. Just keep moving, Doris.”

“Got it.”

For an hour we circled around the block time and time again. Even with all the time that passed and the number of times I saw that house, the knot tangled up in my gut hadn’t unwound even a little.

“Still nothing.” Marge grumbled as we passed it again. “What the hell is he doing in there?”

“Maybe he’s not home. Maybe he’s at work. Or on vacation!” Yes. Vacation! Perhaps he wasn’t home, and I could tuck my tail and run all the way back to Wilder Lane.

“Lights are on. See that?” Marge pointed to the bay window overlooking the yard. “He’s home. Wish I’d brought my binoculars.”

“I think that takes us one step too far in the stalker ladder,” I said.

“So, you really don’t know if you want to see him?” Doris asked while she continued around the block.

“No. I’m not sure about this at all.”

“But why not? He was your true love.”

“Was. That’s the operative word here. He was my true love... but that was almost forty years ago. So much has happened. So much has changed. Like me, for instance! When he met me, I was young and gorgeous. A doe-eyed girl without a line on her face. Now look at me.” I waved a hand over my head. “Well, right now all you see is my scarf and sunglasses, but beneath it is an old woman!”

“You are not an old woman!” Doris scoffed. “You’re a chicken! A spring chicken! And a beautiful one at that.”

Alice leaned forward and peered over her sunglasses. “You’ve still got it, Sylvie. No need to worry about that.”

But I did worry about that. What would he think if he saw me? Would he judge my fading beauty and count his lucky stars he didn’t end up with me? Or worse yet, would he even recognize me? Even see the young woman he’d once held in his arms, kissing her senseless between breathless admissions of his love?

“You’re a stone-cold hottie,” Marge said, and it caused me to erupt into laughter.

“A stone-cold hottie?” I laughed.

“That’s what Roxy calls me.” A proud smile lifted her lips. “It’s the hip lingo.”

“Well, thanks, Marge. Glad you think so. But the question is, will he?”

“It’s been forty years, and you’re still thinking about him,” Alice said. “It’s time to march your ass up there and see what happens.”

I looked out the window as we passed his house again.

“What do you have to lose?” she kept on. “Him? You don’t have him now, and you have no chance of having him unless you pull up your big girl panties and knock on that door. Forget what I said about stalking him to see if he’s a troll. Let’s just pull up, knock on the door, and if he’s ugly as sin, just race back to the car, and Doris will be the getaway driver.”

“Oh, cripes. Someone get me a helmet if Doris is going all Fast and Furious over here.”

Alice’s words settled in bone-deep. I had nothing to lose. What was the worst thing that could happen? He slammed the door in my face and I never saw him again? A life without him already awaited me if I didn’t find the courage to face him again.