Page 72 of The Wilder Widows

“Once. Four months later.” I closed my eyes and remembered the emotions slamming into me when I opened the door to see him standing there. “He showed up at my apartment, the one I’d been living at when he and I were together, that was now my apartment with Bruce.”

“What happened? Why was he gone so long?” Doris’s eyes looked like they were ready to pop right out of her skull.

“I opened the door and almost passed out when I saw him. I was pregnant, almost six months. Luckily, I wasn’t showing a ton. I also had on a baggy sweatshirt, and I remember holding my breath while I waited for him to notice the swell in my belly, but instead, he swept me into his arms, crippling me with a kiss and apologizing for being gone so long. He said he was away on important military business, and he couldn’t get back any sooner. Then he saw my ring and stepped back.”

“What did he say?”

“He was shocked I was married. Angry even.”

“Psht.” Alice scoffed. “Figures a man would just expect you to wait around for him.”

“That’s what I said! It was a dizzying blend of anger and regret I felt when I stood in that doorway staring at the man I had loved. Still loved. He could have called or written. Sent a messenger. A carrier pigeon, for crying out loud! He just kept telling me it was impossible based on where he was and what he was involved in. But it was too late. I was married. Bruce thought the baby in my belly was his. It was just too late.”

“So that was it?” Marge’s gruff voice softened. “You just said goodbye.”

Tears brimmed my eyes while I nodded, remembering the searing pain that traveled through me when I’d watched him walk away. “Yes. I told him it was too late, I was sorry, and I couldn’t be with him. He told me he would always love me and walked away. It was awful. I wanted to race after him, tell him I was pregnant with his child, and we should run off together. But instead, I stood in that doorway sobbing while I stared at my wedding ring and rubbed my belly. I had made my choice. It was too late.”

“Oh, Sylvie. I can’t imagine carrying that with you all these years.”

“It’s been hard. So many times when Bruce was awful to me, I wanted to scream in his face that Rachel wasn’t his and I was still in love with another man. But each time I opened my mouth, I thought of what it would do to Rachel, and I choked the words back down. I had made my bed, and it was my penance to lie in it. At least until she was grown and could handle hearing such shocking news.”

“But you still never told her?”

“No. By the time she was grown, it was too late. I didn’t see the point. She and Bruce were never close. His temper and bad attitude were hard on us all. He was never abusive or anything like that, but the minute she turned eighteen, she moved out. I also figured Tom was already married with a family of his own. There was no sense in blowing up my family to run after a man who probably had forgotten all about me.”

“It sounds like he really loved you, Sylvie. I can’t imagine he forgot about you.” Doris sighed.

“My love for him hasn’t faded in almost forty years. He’s like a torch that just won’t go out no matter how hard I try to extinguish it. But I can’t imagine he feels the same way. I made my choice. Now I need to live with it.”

“So, that’s what your wish would have been? To see him again?” Marge asked.

With a deep sigh, I nodded. “Just one more time. But it’s not possible. I don’t even know where he lives... or if he lives. A couple months after I saw him, Bruce got a job a few hours away, and we moved. I don’t know if Tom still lived in Valley Hills or if the military took him away. I never saw him again. And it’s all just too late. So instead... dude ranch.” I grinned. “And this is a wonderful wish, and truly something I’ve always wanted to do. Thank you for making this possible, ladies.”

“Thank you for sharing all that with us,” Doris said. “I hope it feels better having some of that weight off your shoulders. We’re happy to help you carry it.”

“It means the world to me to have each of you in my life. Thank you for knocking on my door.”

We all exchanged a smile, and then Axel stepped out of the woods and into the firelight.

“I don’t mean to bother you ladies, but it’s a beautiful night, and the stars are out in full force. It's not often you get to see them like this when you’re in the city. I wonder if I might borrow Doris to accompany me on a walk? That is if she would like to.”

Doris nearly leaped to her feet. “I would love to accompany you on a walk, Axel. It’s a lovely evening.”

She stepped to his side, and with a quick wave over her shoulder, we watched them disappear into the darkness.

“She had better ride that cowboy tonight, or I’m gonna hop on him myself.”

“Alice!” I laughed, swatting her in the arm. “You get enough men. You leave this one to Doris. It’s about damn time she had a romantic tryst.”

“Touch Doris’s man, and I’ll spear you myself.” Marge poked at her with the metal skewer she used to roast marshmallows.

“I’m just kidding!” Alice laughed, lifting her hands in submission. “But really, I hope she hops on that. I bet he gives one hell of a bronco ride.”

We burst into laughter, leaning in together and giggling while we sat together by the warm fire.

CHAPTER TWENTY

“Oh, Marge!” Alice choked, waving her hand in the air. “Come on!”