Page 25 of Modern Persuasion

She sounded annoyed.

"I'm just ready to go home. I'm ready to get back to my life," I said, wiping my eyes.

I decided to create a plan to regain control of my career and life. I spent the evening in my hotel room, putting all the pieces together. Karen's control of my career had started at graduation when she had persuaded me to refuse Fredrick. The week we spent in Los Angeles made me see that I could have a life there, but I still felt, at twenty-two, it wouldn't have worked. So much of my world had changed in these eight years that I could make that change now. I wasn't sure I wanted it.

Yes, I was still in love with Fredrick. That was clear after these past few weeks. I spent the last eight years lying to myself to just get through life without him. Accepting this reality had been like removing a dam from a river. The emotions just flowed out of me now. I desperately wanted Fredrick to knock on my door and kiss me. I repeatedly played the fantasy in my head, making it difficult to focus on my career plans. I got a few plans in place before I gave up and asked Louisa to meet me in the lobby so we could discuss the remaining events.

"I appreciate the work you've been doing during this tour," I told her, wanting to make sure Louisa knew she was much more than a glorified babysitter.

"It's been a learning experience," she said with a big smile on her face.

"I need you to keep building on what you've learned, especially without Patrick here to help," I said and looked around to make sure Fredrick wasn't around. "This will be an experience no other intern will have. It will look good on your resume. I want you to work for me when the summer's over. Is that something you'd be interested in?"

Louisa's smile faded. "Will you be able to hire anyone?" she asked.

That surprised me. From all that was happening to me, I didn't feel that my job was on the line. I assumed the executives were pissed at Karen, but maybe my career depended on hers more than I realized.

I thought about my response for a moment. "If I go somewhere else, would you want to come with me?"

Again Louisa's reaction confused me as she narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. This was not the flighty Louisa I had known for decades. This was a woman who was seriously considering her future.

"Like LA?" she asked.

I shrugged, "Possibly."

"I don't want to be an editor. I wanted to do publicity, marketing, and public relations. I like this work a lot more than reading and editing books," she said, sitting back.

I nodded. "That's good to know."

"I'm not saying yes," Louisa added in a low voice. "I prefer working with you than Christi. You keep a level head even when you're not in control."

I locked eyes with her. "Take the lead tomorrow if you want to show the executives that you should be given a job. I'll make sure they know how you could have done this without me."

Her eyes got wide. "Then you might get fired!"

I smiled. "I'm willing to take that chance. You've got this."

I stayed in the hotel room watching Fredrick on the scheduled local morning shows. I felt more relaxed than I had all tour until I got to the first bookstore we were visiting in Chicago: the Northwestern University bookstore. Once everything was set up to my liking, I found Fredrick, Louisa, and Seth in the break room, waiting for the reading to start. My anxiety wasn't about the reading but being around Fredrick now that I could admit I was still in love with him.

"Coffee? Tea?" I asked.

"Beer," Fredrick said.

"No," I said, putting my finger on my lip. "I'll just go and get us tea."

When I returned with the tea and coffee (and water for Seth), I found Fredrick pacing. I had never seen him do this before because Patrick usually stayed with Fredrick before the reading.

"Emma," Louisa said, glancing at Fredrick. "What was that little chant you said when you walked out of the room?"

I knit my eyebrows together. "What do you mean? What little chant?"

"Cup, cup, cup, cup, tea, tea, tea, tea," she said with a half-smile.

I laughed a little to myself. I'd been doing that for so long that I no longer realized I did it. "My mother used to say that when she made me a cup of tea. You should know where it's from. You've seen the movie plenty of times."

"I have no idea," Louisa said, shaking her head.

"My Fair Lady," Fredrick said as he paced.