Page 57 of An Espresso Machine’s Guide to Love & Mischief

“Damn right, he shouldn’t have! I can’t believe that too good-looking for his own good bastard just left me here. He’s a good for nothing, chews his food way too long, whiskey-drinking shithead.”

“He does chew way too long, doesn’t he? I thought I was the only one who noticed!” Purple-Hair says. “And he’s always in a bad mood. I call him Sour Patch Kid.”

I chuckle. “I bet he hates that.”

“What doesn’t he hate?” she says with a laugh. “He’s still unconscious, by the way. I thought it might cheer you up knowing he took quite a beating.”

“From whom?” I feel a pang of… something… even though the bastard unplugged me, so he most definitely deserves it. “Is he okay?”

“He’s going to be. Once he wakes up, he can hop into a new body.”

“Oh, great. And then he can come back here and unplug me again.”

“I won’t let him,” Purple-Hair pats my side. “I don’t know why he did that. Janet said he had his reasons, but…” I start to protest but she cuts me off, “it’s still cruel.”

“Thank you! All I did was talk to him about how I died, and he went berserk.”

Purple-Hair shrugs. “Some spirits can be very sensitive about that stuff.”

“I guess,” I say before I remember who I’m dealing with. “You’re one of the kidnappers, aren’t you?”

“I’m McKay. And we’re not kidnappers. We’re the good guys.”

“Mmmm ’kay,” I drawl.

“Good one.” She rolls her eyes. “Like I haven’t heard that one before, Prima Diva.”

I sigh. “You’re not going to help me get out of here, are you?”

“That’s exactly what I’m going to do.” McKay takes a seat next to me.

“Bullshit,” I snap. She may seem nice, but so did the guy in a Pluto costume at Disney World who pickpocketed me. “If you’re friends with Trevor—”

“Actually, we’re colleagues. I’m a medium, and he hired me to help free the spirits who are trapped in objects.”

“By moving on?”

“Hell to the no. Though I can see why you might think that. Trevor told me your supposed friends convinced you that you wanted to move on.”

I try to spray her for implying Neph isn’t a real friend, then remember I’ve steamed myself dry. “Mind pouring some water into my reservoir?”

To my surprise, she nods. “Sure thing.”

She gets up and strolls to the kitchen. She returns a few minutes later with a jug of water. Lifting my lid, she pours it in.

I almost groan as the sweet, cool water fills me. It’s like that time I found a well after being lost in the Kalahari Desert for twelve hours. Turned out it was a mirage and I was eating sand, but for the first minute or two, it felt like paradise.

“It must suck being trapped in an espresso machine,” McKay says. “I get why you’d think moving on is better than this.”

“Plus, you know… heaven.”

“Is that where they told you spirits go?” she asks as she pours the last of the water into my reservoir.

“Isn’t it?” I ask her.

She closes my lid and sits back down. “I’m actually not sure. Some say it’s heaven. Others think you get reincarnated or go to some underworld.”

“Those sound like pretty good options to me,” I tell her. Better than being trapped here, worrying Trevor will come back and unplug me.