Page 47 of An Espresso Machine’s Guide to Love & Mischief

I leave her and stroll to the kitchen. There’s a big dude in a hairnet in front of the stove, frying vegetables. Never seen him in my life.

“Trevor,” I tell him.

“Janet,” she replies in a deep, booming voice. “What’s the last thing I said to you, huh, Trev?”

I have to think about that for a second. “That you hate clowns. Or… wait… fucking hell?”

“Right on.”

I take a second to think of a question. “What did you run out of on Tuesday?”

“Arugula,” Janet replies, confirming she is, in fact, Janet.

“I’m glad you found a new body and made it home. So, what’s the special for today?”

“Pad Thai. But I’ve also got some leftover Shepherd’s Pie from yesterday.”

“I’ll take Pad Thai and a whiskey… actually, make it a double.”

“A double serving of Pad Thai?”

I scowl at her, and she starts to laugh.

“What? That body of yours looks kind of hungry.”

“Now that you mention it, I could eat double… but you know I meant the whiskey.”

“It’s not even five yet.”

“I’ve had a day.”

As if on cue, Starbucks shouts, “Get me out of here! Waiter! Help me.”

I groan.

“The hell is going on?” Janet pushes past me and sticks her head out of the kitchen to look at Nescafe.

“Another Movin’ On victim, but this one is… difficult.”

“They’re all difficult.” Janet slams her hand on the doorframe, and it cracks. “Shoot. I forgot I was a strong-ass dude today.”

I shrug. “It happens.” Done it enough times myself. Punched a hole through the wall a time or two.

“Can’t imagine getting trapped in an object.” Janet shakes her head. “Not being able to eat or drink or fuck. Some life that is.”

As if on cue, Tim Horton’s starts to rage. “I demand you listen to me! Free me this instant. I’m going to sue.”

I sigh. “She keeps saying that.”

“Maybe she’s a lawyer,” Janet suggests.

“Hell if I know.”

“Go find out. Or keep her company or something. I’ll bring you the food.”

I can’t help but smile to myself as I stroll back across the dining room to Nespresso. She’s a fighter even when she has so little to work with. Then again, most body hoppers are. How else would we be able to subdue the body’s resident and take control?

But I have to say, this particular spirit has got more spark in her than most.