Page 74 of Protected from Torment

“I was only a couple of months along,” I explain. “I hadn’t even told Vince yet, since I found out while he was overseas. And then… he died. I never got to tell him.” Swallowing hard against the lump in my throat, I add, “I wish I had. But it seemed too important to share over a phone call. I wanted to wait until I saw him in person.”

“That makes sense,” Tyler replies quietly.

“I guess so. But…” My chest constricts. In a rush, I blurt, “Two months after Vince died, I lost the baby. There were complications, and I had to have surgery. The doctors… they told me I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant again. At first, it didn’t really sink in. I didn’t want it to.”

I pluck at Tyler’s shorts as I add, “For a long time, I didn’t let myself think about it. It was too painful. But it never goes away. Not entirely.”

“Mel, I’m so sorry.”

“I know we’re still new. You might not be thinking about a future with me like that. And I’m not trying to rush things between us. But if you’re hoping for a family one day, I thought you should know. I can’t give you one.”

His chest rises and falls. Once. Twice. Three times before he speaks. “Mel.”

“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I know this isn’t what you were expecting when you came out to check on me.”

“I wasn’t expecting anything,” he replies. “And what you just told me—” He grimaces. “Shit, Mel. I’m so damn sorry. That you had to go through all of that… Does anyone know? Your parents? Vince’s?”

“No. I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it. And later, there didn’t seem to be any point.” I let out a shaky breath. “I don’t think about it all the time anymore. I don’t burst into tears whenever I see a baby or anything.”

He hugs me closer to him. “You’ve been keeping this to yourself ‌all this time?”

I nod. Then, a beat later, I shake my head. “I talked to my counselor about it. And Oscar. Although only one of them talked back.”

Tyler gives me a long look. Then he kisses my forehead gently before saying, “I’m so sorry, Mel. That it happened, and that you’ve been alone with it. But.” His gaze holds mine. “What you just told me doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

My cheeks heat as I say, “I know it’s kind of a jump to go from having sex for the first time to talking about nonexistent babies. But I didn’t want you thinking I could give you⁠—”

“Mel.” He couches his interruption with a gentle smile. “It’s not a jump. What we shared last night—the first and second time—meant a lot to me. I’m hoping it meant a lot to you, too.”

“It did.” I almost tell him how much. But I catch my tongue just in time.

“And thinking about a future together isn’t a jump, either. Maybe we’re not there yet, but… we could be.”

Hope sparks to life. “Do you think so?”

“Yes.” Tyler kisses me again, this time on the lips. “For a long time, I didn’t think I’d ever consider a future with a woman again. Then I saw my friends all coupling up, and I felt kind of… wistful. I started to think, maybe. If I could find the right person.”

I nod. “I wished sometimes, too.”

“I didn’t really think I’d find her, though,” he adds. His eyes come to mine, soft with affection. “Then I met you. And from the start, there was just this… pull. Like somehow, deep down, I knew.”

“Tyler.”

“I’m falling for you, Mel. I didn’t expect it. But it happened, just the same. I want to see where things between us go. Next week. Next month. Next year. And Mel—” He cups my cheek with his hand. “I don’t need anything other than you.”

It’s what I haven’t let myself dare to hope for. “But if you want a family one day…”

“Then you would be my family,” Tyler replies. “You and Oscar. And if you wanted another dog, we could do that, too. If someday you wanted to adopt, I’d be open to it. Or if you just want to keep things as they are, that’s fine, too.”

Tears of relief spring to my eyes. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure, Mel.” As he looks at me, his confidence fades to reveal a flash of vulnerability. “If you want the same thing with me, that is. Maybe you’re not there yet. Or you’re not⁠—”

“I am.” Turning so I’m facing him, I frame his face with my hands. And this time, when the words come, I don’t hold them back. “I’m falling for you, too. And everything you said? It’s perfect. All of it.”

“Mel.” It’s rough with emotion. “You don’t have to say it just because I did.”

“I know. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it. One of the things I was thinking about while I was sitting out here was how I feel about you. How I don’t need flowers or jewelry to know⁠—”