Page 1 of Hexy Beast

Chapter One

Effie…

There is nothing worse than lusting for the guy who kidnapped you.

I mean, it doesn’t happen to me a lot. This is the first time I’ve been held for ransom, but I have to believe that full-throttle come-and-get-me-you-sexy-tatted-up-muscle-bound-werewolf isn’t the appropriate reaction to the moment. Shouldn’t I be saving all my oh-my-what-deliciously-big-thighs-you-have dirty thoughts for someone who isn’t holding me magically hostage? There is a certain sense of logic to that, don’t you think?

But then again, when do I ever do what’s expected?

Pretty much never.

However, I’m getting ahead of myself, which is not a surprise to anyone who knows me or follows me on WitchyGram, where I post all my escapades (much to my family’s dismay about my wild behavior).

I’m Effie Sherwood, the oldest daughter of the magically badass Sherwood family, one of, if not the most powerful in all of Witchingdom. As the eldest Sherwood child, everyone expected me to inherit our family magic and become the head witch in charge of the Sherwoods, because that’s how the world works.

Every witchy family has their own stream of magic that flows through the head witch and out to all the other members like water in a river out to its tributaries. Magic binds everyone together and empowers them. Then, when the firstborn of the next generation hits their thirties, they move from being the heir to the family’s magic to the head of the family.

That’s the way everyone’s witchy family magic works in Witchingdom, going from firstborn to firstborn like clockwork—boring, never varying, watching-paint-dry clockwork.

Until I came along.

The story of my birth hit legendary status before I was even old enough to understand the whispers.

It was a dark and stormy night. Kidding! It was a bland and sunny Tuesday morning when I came into the world.

Sherwood magic, tangible as electricity in the air, filled the room in anticipation of my birth. My magical matriarch mom went through labor without a hair out of place while my shifter dad had fully morphed into a literal bear because of the stress. I came out bald as a troll and screaming my lungs out—I never have liked being woken up before noon.

The family magic flew around the three of us, going from invisible force to a sparkling purple stream of pure power. It swirled around the room in a circle that tightened and tightened until it resembled a glittering wreath small enough to sit on a newborn’s head and thus bestow status as the family’s magical heir.

The thing is, with me, it didn’t.

Oh, it got close. If I would have had any of the thick, wavy, light auburn hair I have now, the magic would have touched it. But instead of coming to rest on my slightly pointy head, it poofed out of there, leaving behind a thick dusting of honeysuckle-scented sparkles that landed on my cheeks in the exact spots where today I have a bazillion freckles. A few sparkles ended up on the inside of my wrist, forming a weird splotch of a birthmark that looks like a constellation of stars if you squint and tilt your head just right.

And just like that, without saying a word, the Sherwood family magic had declared me not the chosen one.

That outcome was not expected—unless you’re me, because I don’t do what’s expected.

Not as a newborn.

Not as a grown-ass witch.

I’m a free spirit. The wild one of the family. The one who always tells her stories out of order and always eats dessert first. I’m the Sherwood who’s been voted most outrageous on WitchyGram five years running. I’m sure there’s a reason why I’m not the heir to our family’s magic nor am I destined to be the family matriarch.

I just wish I knew what it is.

The best reason I can come up with for the whole glitch in the oldest-child-becomes-the-heir thing is that I’m just not that witch. My sister Leona (the second-oldest Sherwood sister) is, and she’s fantastic at it, and that’s why when she was born, the wreath landed on her infant head without a second of hesitation.

Yeah, it’s a little weird and can be kinda (read: so fucking very) awkward when people start giving me pitying looks and wondering aloud just what’s wrong with me that would result in what ninety-nine percent of Witchingdom sees as a demotion. But it is what it is.

It hardly ever bothers me.

And when it does? What do I do when some nosy nixie slides into my DMs to ask what it feels like to be passed over, or when a concern troll (not an actual troll; they’re really pretty cool, if bloodthirsty) wants to make sure I’m all right considering how my life didn’t turn out as (society) expected?

Well, that’s when I double down on bringing the shenanigans to Witchingdom, like when I hosted a Lucky Charms eating contest with the winner getting their body weight in cereal marshmallows. The catch? Participants had to do it while dressed in rainbow tutus and balancing on floating surfboards. That one totally got me trending on WitchyGram.

It’s not the life anyone expected of the firstborn Sherwood sister, but it’s mine, and I love it just how it is.

So I’m the family bon vivant, showing my four younger sisters how to live their best lives (and kicking the ass of anyone who tries to stop them). I’ve got a big mouth, a big attitude, and big thighs—all of which, for the record, I love about myself. The first two definitely get me into big trouble of the societal snubs kind, but the third gets me all the good kind of trouble I can handle—and believe me, I can handle a lot.