Page 46 of Pretend it’s Forever

“Enjoy your time alone. The quiet is always nice.”

As a mother of five, I knew my mother understood that more than most.

“I will. The vacuum is calling me.”

“It always does,” she said with a small laugh. She studied my face once more, and I knew she had other questions, but she didn’t ask and I didn’t answer. Instead I watched as she took the girls for their afternoon with their grandma, and I went back to my small office.

This home wasn’t my dream home, wasn’t our forever home. But it was the one I could afford after the divorce. Cale had taken so much from us, but I never wanted to sleep under that old roof again, not after the attack. My girls had never stepped foot inside that house after we had taken them away. No, they would never even look upon it again. If I could bulldoze it, I would. Cale had sold it and moved to a bigger place once he was finished with the courts. I didn’t want him to have the girls, didn’t want him to see them, but I knew once I was done with this phone call with my lawyer, I was going to end up being rageful.

But Cale would never walk into this home of mine. He would never see what I had made with my own two hands. One day we would move to a bigger place, where the girls could have their own rooms, and my office wasn’t a mere closet off the kitchen. I loved this home, and I knew that if I asked, any one of my siblings would help me buy a bigger one for the girls, but I needed to do this on my own.

With a sigh, I looked at the clock and understood if I didn’t call my lawyer soon, I would be late. So I sat down at my desk, pulled out my notebook, and hoped that this would have a better outcome than last time.

When I hung up the phone, I rubbed my temple, and realized that no, it hadn’t gone well at all.

In fact, the concept of things being truly evil settled in.

Cale would be taking the babies for his night soon. We would go over a time through our lawyers, but it would be coming.

He didn’t even have supervised visitation.

That man had nearly killed me with my babies in the next room, and yet he was allowed to see the girls without somebody there to make sure that they were cared for, that they were safe.

How the courts had failed us this deeply, I would never know, but I would never trust them again. I wanted to bundle the girls up and run away, to keep them safe forever, but I knew that there would be no hiding.

Laws didn’t exist to keep us safe.

They just existed for men to thrive.

My phone rang, and I looked at it as if it were a snake ready to strike. As Cale’s name appeared on the readout, perhaps that was truth.

He wasn’t supposed to be calling, no, he should have been contacting me through our lawyers. But Cale never did listen.

I needed to send him to voicemail, but I was also about to give him our babies—no, my babies—for a weekend. And if I angered him now, I didn’t know what he would do to retaliate.

Fear and anger warring within me, I answered.

“Yes.”

“I see the lawyers have spoken with you. We’ll be arranging a time soon for me to see my girls.”

I gritted my teeth, knowing he was going for my reaction. He had wanted sons, and had never called them his with that proprietary tone. No, he would only do so to try to get me to fight back.

He wanted to get a reaction, and I wouldn’t give it to him.

“The lawyers will let us know on the calendar. I will have a list of things that the girls need, what they’re allowed to eat, and things for their allergies.”

“I know what my girls want. Don’t patronize me. You might think that you’re acting the good mother, but I know for a fact that they’re rarely under your roof, yet a certain man seemed to be.”

Ice crawled up my veins as I knew he had been watching us. It didn’t matter what security I had on my house, what my family did to protect us, it would never be enough.

Because evil prevailed.

“Our lawyers will handle it then.” And with that, I hung up the phone, knowing I would just anger him. Yet maybe not. Because he’d gotten the rise out of me that he wanted.

Heart racing, I pulled away from my desk, grabbed my phone, and began to pace.

My lawyer was doing what he could, but Cale had more connected friends than I had ever guessed. He had married me for my money and all my connections, but he hadn’t been able to get anything out of that, so he had tried to ruin everything.