Page 34 of Pretend it’s Forever

“How on earth did you know that? Harper doesn’t.”

“It was in your purse. You know, when you swooned in my arms.”

I hit him gently with the jerky. “I did not swoon.”

“Whatever you say, Cage.”

“Are you sure you should be calling me Cage when there’s so many of us?”

“Probably not. Not with what I want to do with you.”

“Carson. I don’t⁠—”

He shook his head. “Too far. That’s okay. But I do like your home.”

“Oh?”

“I do. I didn’t see enough of your older home to get the lay of it, and I don’t care about that place. But this one? This one’s for you and the girls.” He gestured towards Violet and Hazel’s drawings on the fridge and smiled. “I was expecting them to be here.” He pulled out a few snacks for the girls, and my heart did that jumping thing that was brand new to me.

“They’re on a play date.”

“And you’re stressing out about it?”

“Yes. Because they’re growing up, and well⁠—”

“Your brothers and I will not let that man hurt them.”

“I know. But he’s sneaky.”

“I’m sneakier.” He pushed my hair behind my ear and smiled. “I won’t ask what else he took from you, because that’s not my place, but part of me wants to know.”

Cale had taken so much, nameless things that I couldn’t speak of, but maybe I could say a few things. Ones that bothered me. Ones that I tried not to think about.

“He tried to take my studio.”

He tilted his head. “He did what?”

“He tried to take everything from me that he could. Including the building that I owned.”

“Did he?”

“He took half of it.” Shame crawled over me. “I ended up giving it to him so he would stop fighting for custody. But he continues to come back, so I did it for nothing.”

“You fought for your girls, it’s not nothing. And I can buy the place from him. Force him to sell. Buy it for you.”

I chuckled at that, wondering what it must be like to even be able to say things along those lines. “Just like that?”

“Just like that.” He trailed his thumb along my jaw, over my lips, his other hand caressing my side.

I swallowed hard, need pooling deep within me. But I wasn’t good at this. I hadn’t been, not since… Well, not since. And how was I supposed to tell him that even though he could touch me, I wouldn’t be able to feel it. Not where it mattered. Because focusing on a man with whom I could orgasm felt as if I were leaping off the tallest bridge, and it would never be enough. But I couldn’t put that out there. Not when touching myself took hours. Just to get out of my own head. So no, I didn’t say those words. Not yet.

“I want you.”

My heart squeezed. “And you always get what you want?” I asked, knowing the answer.

“Yes. I do.”

“You can’t have me,” I answered, speaking the truth. Because I could barely own my own heart at this point, my own soul. I had nothing left to give him.