Page 18 of Cabin Fever

“It’s like I’m trying to talk to a pissed-off badger.”

I bark a laugh. “Yep, bring on more animal comparisons.”

He sits straight, leaning forward on his hands so his triceps pop. “What. The. Hell, Harper?”

I don’t know if it’s the alcohol from the party or the emotional overload from that stupid slideshow or my mom and Finn throwing shade on this wedding that they, of all people, should be championing, but the floodgates burst.

“You named me after a cartoon platypus! I was thirteen with a unibrow⁠—”

“You didn’t have a unibrow!”

“Only because Dahlia waxed it for me! I had a retainer that pushed out my lips, and the boy every girl on the block was in love with looked at me one day and compared me to a bright blue, frumpy, duck-billed animal that somehow feeds its young without nipples. And it stuck for years, Finn. Dahlia used it, Theo, and my parents—ugh! And every single time I hear it, for one second, I'm thirteen again and ugly and—” I stop short, my eyes burning. I'm breathing like I ran here.

Finn stares at me, his eyes dark. “That's what you think it was? A punchline?”

“That’s what it always is with you, isn’t it? I’m a big joke? And now I can’t even be that since I’m not fun anymore.” I curl my shoulders and stare at the blurring page of my book.

I’m not sure how much time passes with me trying to swallow the lump in my throat before Finn says, “No.”

I can’t look at him. As an act of mercy, he turns off his lamp. When he speaks, the darkness takes his voice and sends it straight through my chest.

“If that nickname bothered you that much, maybe at some point in the last fifteen years, you should’ve asked why I gave it to you.”

I sit there in the half-dark with my heart slamming, tears threatening to spill out onto my cheeks. I hate that I’m sharing a room with Finn, but not because I hate him. I hate that seeing him brings up all of my worst memories. I hate that I’m not over that time in my life, and worse, that I’m clearly not over him. I hate that this is supposed to be such a joyous occasion and I can’t be a good enough person to get over all this crap and enjoy it whether my dad is here or not.

I hate that whatever he just said about Theo and Dahlia is making me remember the last few weird conversations I had with her before we left. I hate that I didn’t pay attention to it, and that there might be a problem with Dahlia and Theo that I’m oblivious to. I hate that I can’t rise above this. That I can’t⁠—

“Night, Harper.”

Tears stream down my face as Finn’s body moves against his sheets. I can’t catch my breath fast enough to say anything back.

Chapter Seven

First thing in the morning, I get a message from Pam.

Hi hon, so sorry for the late msg.

I check the time. She sent this at 2 am.

Flagging this before you wake up to it. The Meridian Ballroom hold for the 4 pm rehearsal was released this afternoon. It's already been rebooked by another group.

I double-checked bc I know you didn't call it in, but releases have to come from the wedding party. I don't have a name on the log, just the request time and that it was verified. Everything ok? Was the rehearsal canceled?

I'm staring at the screen in shock when the cabin door swings open and Finn comes in from his run. He’s flushed, breathing hard, shirt stuck to his chest, and carrying two cups of coffee.

Every word from last night floods back into my head. I shrink and pull the covers up an inch like they'll protect me from the accusations I spewed.

“Morning.” He sets the coffee on the counter.

I should say something. An apology probably, or at least a thank you for the drink, but what comes out instead is, “Someone canceled the room I booked for the rehearsal.”

He frowns, then rounds the end of his bed. I turn the phone around and watch him read Pam's message. He smells like sweat, but not in a bad way. Like sun-soaked skin and gym mats. The sound of his breath sends tingles down my spine.

When he’s finished reading, he steps back. “Give me ninety seconds.”

* * *

Pam meets us on the top deck at 7:58 a.m. Though I met her when I first boarded the ship, she was more made up. That time, she wore a tight bun, fake eyelashes, and full makeup. Now her hair hangs loose. Dyed blond with grey roots. She’s got eighties bangs, and the only makeup she has on is electric blue eyeliner. I love this version of her.