Page 93 of Lavender and Linebackers

Alice

Five months later

“You know, I used to think February was my favorite month in Florida, but I’m pretty certain it’s March now,” Ryder says to me as we climb up into the bed of his truck.

“Why? You’ve always loved the colder weather.” I smooth down the thick comforter we had tossed back here and situate the pillows and the cooler.

It’s been a long time since we’ve been back to our place here on the lake. It was always my favorite place and holds many of our memories, but since we now have our home that Ryder bought for us, we haven’t needed to.

That’s right, our home.

I didn’t even make it to mid-December before I moved in. Like he wanted, we celebrated Thanksgiving with both our families, who were thrilled that we had finally worked through our problems. His mom did the majority of the cooking for her social media channels, and by the time we started decorating for Christmas, little by little, his house was becoming mine too. I was sleeping over basically every night. I helped him shop for the renovations and had started buying accessories like throw pillows, blankets, and plants. Kelli finally pointed out the obvious. I had been worried that she would feel slighted, but she didn’t. The day after I moved out, another one of our teammates moved in. It worked out great for all of us.

Especially Felix.

While he loves Ryder, I’m his mama, and he’s a mama’s boy. The three of us together do make me feel like a family.

“Because it’s still cold at night and in the morning, but during the day it’s warm enough for you to wear tiny shorts and skirts like this one.” He runs his hand up under the skirt and squeezes one side of my butt.

I swat him away, and he chuckles.

“Have you been here at all over the past year?” I ask as I settle into my spot. It’s a Sunday afternoon. The trees surrounding us are bright with the spring green leaves, and the azaleas are in bloom. The new dock next to the boat launch entices people to wander out on it and maybe do some fishing.

“On the day I met the real estate agent to look at the houses he’d pulled for viewing, I stopped here first. I wanted to know if this place still had that feeling that it once had and if I was doing the right thing.” He sits next to me.

“And did it?”

“Yes.” He wraps his arms around my shoulders. “It was quiet and deserted then, just like it is now, and that was the first time I allowed myself to really think about you. We had so many good times here, made many memories, that for so long I’d blocked the part of my brain that wanted to go here. I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to perform at the level I needed to, and I had to make it to the NFL. You distract me. In the worst and best ways.” One side of his mouth tips up. “I didn’t know what was going to happen. I knew we’d eventually run into each other, but never in my wildest dreams did I think fate would pair us together the way it did.”

“You said fate.” I turn a little toward him and grin. He didn’t shave this morning, there’s a dark stubble across his jaw. Yes, he started shaving in high school, but he never had facial hair like this. I don’t know what it is, but I love it, and I love to run my fingers over it.

This is probably why he didn’t shave.

“Would you call it something else?” He looks down at me, and I cup his handsome face, sliding my thumb back and forth.

“No, I wouldn’t. But you’re a guy, and guys don’t say things like fate.”

He frowns. “Are you questioning my manhood? Because I’d be more than happy to show you that it’s there.”

He reaches for my hand, and I know exactly where he wants to put it, but I snatch it away.

“Oh, I know you would.” I shove his chest, causing him to sway a little, but in turn, both of us laugh.

“Did you ever come here?” he asks tentatively.

“That first summer, I came here a lot. I would sit in my car for hours and pray that you would magically show up and find me here. I guess at some point reality kicked in, and I knew you weren’t coming. After that, I didn’t come back.”

“I know we’ve talked about this, but I really am sorry.”

“I know you are, and we’ve moved on, there’s no dwelling on the past, right?”

“Right.” He pulls me in close and hugs me. I love his hugs. He always talks about how he loves that I smell like lavender, but he always smells fresh and clean, and the heat from his body can always be felt through his shirt. It’s the best place to be.

Telling Ryder about the depression was hard. I knew he’d try to take it on, to claim responsibility, and while yes, it was triggered by him leaving, there was no way to predict that things would turn so bad for me. We were both eighteen, both transitioning to the next chapter of our lives, and both immature when it came to relationships. Neither of us had been in a romantic relationship, and neither of us really knew how to communicate in a way that made us a couple and not individuals. For seven years, we talked to each other, but we had never opened the door to talk about each other. How we felt, concerns we had knowing we were going to be separated, really what the future held.

Now, we have zero walls, zero boundaries, and we make it a point to check in with each other daily. Nothing gets left unsaid.

I also pointed out that from the heartbreak came the Mighty Monarchs, which I love almost as much as him. He hates that he was the catalyst, but he loves that Kelli and I have impacted so many youth in the Tampa Bay area. Next month, we have our spring event, and almost four hundred kids have signed up. The Tarpons are again letting us use their facility, and more of the players and members of my team have volunteered to help. I’m over the moon and incredibly proud.