Page 80 of Lavender and Linebackers

She raises her hand with trepidation. Her eyes are locked onto my very hard, very tall dick. “How do I touch it?” she asks.

“What do you mean?”

Her eyes flash to mine and then break away. They’re wary, like she’s nervous to tell me something. “I’ve just never . . . I um⁠—”

White noise fills my head, and a rock drops to the pit of my stomach. Is she telling me what I think she’s telling me?

“Al.” She looks up at me. “Never?”

She shakes her head. My eyes slip shut, and my head falls to her shoulder while I let out a very audible groan. “Sweetheart, you’re killing me. I’m sorry I can’t say the same.”

“It doesn’t matter.” She wraps her arms around me. The water continues to spray down on us, which forces me to keep my eyes shut, and I’m glad. I’m glad she can’t see the disappointment I have in them.

“But it does.” I think back to my past. To the days when I was most angry with her, and while, at the time, I always told myself I was over her and could do whatever I wanted with whoever I wanted, deep down that wasn’t the real reason. Depending on the day, it was careless, revenge, freedom, solace, you name it. It was me trying to forget her and hurt her at the same time.

“It doesn’t. We’re here now, right?”

I feel like I’ve betrayed her. Betrayed what should have only been ours.

I pull back so she can see me when I speak to her. “I’m sorry.”

“Ryder.” Her hands cup my cheeks. “Neither of us did anything wrong. I’m so happy to be here with you now. There’s nowhere else I want to be, and I don’t want to let any negative parts of our past in. There’s no place here for those thoughts or feelings anymore. This is our next chapter, right?”

“Are we really doing this?” I ask her. And I know she understands that I’m not just asking about us being intimate, but I’m asking about us being together, starting our future.

“You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted to do this with.”

I have to swallow down the lump in my throat. While the entire last hour has been emotionally charged, when she smiles at me, I fall for her all over again. Only this girl can bring me to my knees.

Taking her hand, together we wrap ourselves around me. Surprise lights up her face as she squeezes, and then I guide her to know exactly what I like.

“It’s so hard.”

A laugh bursts out of me, and all I need at this moment is to kiss her, so I do.

Chapter 27

Alice

I’m. Touching. Ryder.

And it’s amazing.

He lets go, leaving me on my own with his most private part, and braces his hand on the wall behind my head. His eyes are shut, and his hips have started to move along with my hand. It’s sexy, erotic; I feel like I’m someone else right now.

And as for him, he’s so male. That’s the only way I know how to describe him. Tall, layers and layers of muscles, golden skin kissed by the sun. He has that “V” that definitely points to somewhere great. He has thick thighs and giant hands and feet. Sure, he’s an athlete, but so are tennis players and runners, and he looks nothing like them. Pure testosterone.

“Widen your stance,” he says without looking at me, and I immediately comply.

His free hand travels with the water. It runs over my body and then up between my legs. His fingers explore in a way that has never been done, and then gently, he pushes one finger inside and then drags it back out. It feels unfamiliar, but very, very welcome.

He lets out a pained sound. “You are so warm and so tight.”

“Is that a bad thing?” I look up at him as he looks down at me.

“No, but we have to stop this here”—he pulls his hips back and I release him—“or it’ll all be over before we’ve even started.”

“We haven’t started?”