Page 87 of Tiger Lilies and Tight Ends

“Yeah, you’re probably right. I just . . .” I swallow hard to remove the knot in my throat. “You should have seen her,” I tell him, shame bitterly coating my tongue.

“It’s probably a good thing I didn’t because I would have slammed my fist into your face.”

“I would have let you.”

“But Lily, you know her. Talk things out with her. She’s a reasonable and rational person. She’s not dramatic or vindictive. She enjoys living in a world where everyone and everything around her is happy, including herself. Fix this.”

“I want to, but this weekend is her big weekend, and I don’t want to do anything to ruin this for her.”

“About that. You know you’re the loved one she mentioned in today’s post,” he says, and it causes me to reach up and rub my chest. My chest that aches with grief.

“I don’t know. It could be any of her friends here or Morgan.” And it could be. Once she started talking about her books with Camille, Sophie, and Lexi, she didn’t stop. They’ve all supported her.

“It’s not. She told me.”

I sit straight up. “Wait, you talked to her?” My heart starts racing, and my blood rushes over the pulse points throughout my body.

“I did,” he says, slowly.

“And she told you she loves me?”

My heartbeat now moves to my ears and starts pounding.

“You’re going to have to find that out for yourself.”

Yes, I do need to find out for myself. And although I have my worries that this might not be the right move, what if it is? I need to tell her how sorry I am, that I fully support her and want to be her biggest fan, and well . . . that I love her. I’ve waited long enough. Too long, actually. And yes, there’s a good possibility that she wants nothing to do with me after what a jackass I’ve been, but I won’t know unless I try. And I really do want to try. For her, for us.

“Lance,” I call out his name as I stand and grab my phone off the bed. “I have to go.”

I can’t be here.

Not while she’s there.

He chuckles again. “Go get our girl.”

Chapter 39

Lily

Ihaven’t heard from Tyler once this whole week.

And I just don’t understand why.

I understand that he was mad, but he’s had plenty of time to get over it. But I’m mad too.

Should I have reached out to him? Maybe. But honestly, deep down, I know it should be him. I didn’t start this. I didn’t accuse him of anything. I didn’t break his heart. He did all of those things, and I guess I thought he’d calm down, see reason, and reach out.

Only he hasn’t.

Which I don’t understand.

I know he has trust issues. I’ve known that for years, but he has to see that he purposely self-sabotaged a great thing because of this. He hurt me over a fear that he has, or several fears, and while I would forgive him if he called and said as much, he’s not calling, and in a way that hurts more.

After making the decision to leave Tampa, the rental property let us know they were available for me to move in early, so that’s what I did. I changed my flight, packed up my things, and headed to New York City. Morgan met me here. She was horrified when I told her what had happened and her role in this. She had been so excited about the reveal she didn’t even think about the rules I mentioned and it turns out that I did give her Tyler’s number. I gave it to her as an in case of an emergency situation months ago. Out of context and in that emotional moment with him in the kitchen, I forgot. We cried together, we drank a lot of wine, and then I put on my big girl pants and got to work.

I would be lying if I said I haven’t dreamed about this week. Coming out to my readers, feeling like I can interact with them now, and having a book signing, I’m so excited for this next phase of my career that I’ve had to block out the hurt I feel from him. Morgan and I went to dinner with Julia, the owner of Between the Pages. Morgan found a photographer and we did a professional session. We’ve videoed more reels than I know what to do with, and together, Morgan and I worked on my business plan.

A business plan that sets us up for the next three years.