Page 41 of Tiger Lilies and Tight Ends

My gaze pops to hers. “You watched me?”

“Umm, hello.” She waves her hand at me. “You aren’t just some guy who I met in passing. You are important to us, to my family. I was so excited for you, and I wanted to see who would choose you, your reaction, all the good stuff.” She snickers to herself. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but right before your season started, I went out and got a Tarpons T-shirt with your name on the back. Dean was so pissed.”

“You bought one of mine? Why?”

“I was proud of you. Proud for you. I wanted to show you off as much as I could. He wasn’t in the league yet, so I didn’t think it was a big deal, but he did. He said it was dumb that I was wearing it, and that I was his girlfriend, and if I was going to wear anyone’s name, it should be his.”

Hearing her say she was proud of me and supporting me at a time in my life when I was probably at my lowest and didn’t even know she was doing this, my fondness for her instantly strengthens in a way that feels really intense. She doesn’t even realize how much this means to me, and in a way is healing a moment ruined by someone else.

I clear my throat. “I hate to say it, as much as I love that you did this, but I kind of agree with him, given that football is his career too. If he was an accountant or teacher or whatever, it would be different.”

Her grin grows larger. “I wore that shirt a lot.”

She wore it a lot. Her. Lily.

It does something to me to realize that she’s always been there for me, even if she was silent and in the background. Years and years, and as strange as it sounds, I’m beginning to understand that she has been a constant in my life without me even comprehending it.

One corner of my mouth tips up. It’s the thought of her, just her, and the thought that she was pissing off that asshole on purpose brings me great joy.

“Speaking of the draft, why don’t you have any pictures up at your house? Isn’t that supposed to be like one of the greatest days of your life?”

I break eye contact from her and grab my napkin to wipe my hands and my mouth. I wish I had fond memories of the draft, but I don’t. Lily knew my college girlfriend, she met her several times, and she also knows that we broke up right around then. It’s the lies and deceit that overshadowed and consumed everything else in my life.

“Marissa is in all of the photos. Every one of them. I’m not sure how she managed that, but there isn’t a single photo, not that I would probably put it up anyway.”

She watches me as I clean up and place it all in a garbage can that slides out from the wall.

“You know I have Photoshop. I can delete her or change her face to someone else's if you want me to."

Her comment surprises me, and I look over to find her face is so serious, so matter of fact, a chuckle slips out.

“It’s fine. I don’t want the reminder anyway.”

Just the thought of her makes me sick. Of all the things I’ve done, dating her was the worst mistake of my life.

“What happened between the two of you?” she asks.

I should have known this was coming eventually. I’m surprised it took her this long to ask, considering she just went through her own breakup, and commiserating over a past trauma is something that people have a tendency to do. But other than Lance, my parents, my agent, and my lawyers, this isn’t something I’ve spoken about to anyone else.

“She wasn’t who I thought she was.” I lift my hat, run my hand over my hair to smooth it down, and replace it. It's a nervous movement, one I’m certain she sees, but she presses anyway.

“Really? Weren’t the two of you together for like years?”

“Not quite, but a year and a half, yeah.” I lean back into the bench and sling one arm out across the top while placing the other in front of me. “You sure you want to hear about this?” I ask her, soaking in her gorgeous and calming face.

She mimics my body language and leans back too. “Only if you want to tell me. Which obviously you don’t have to. I was just curious. Lance never said anything, and it was like one day y’all were together, future looking bright and all that, and then the next you weren’t.”

It’s hard to talk about Marissa. It’s not something I want to relive, and I hate how she made me feel, how she still makes me feel all these years later, but Lily isn’t some random person, and as much as every cell in my body is screaming not to say anything, don’t trust her, I do. She makes me feel better. She makes me feel like I am moving on and it’s okay to open up to someone.

I let out a deep sigh. “She wasn’t who I thought she was.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for starters, it turns out her name isn’t Marissa. It’s Clarissa.”

Lily’s face scrunches up. “I don’t understand.”

“She faked it all. The whole thing. Turns out, some people will do anything for money.”