Page 16 of Wildflowers and Wide Receivers

I take in her beautiful face. There’s tension around her mouth and eyes, and I know I did the right thing by asking for a few minutes. “No. I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have reached out to you or at least had Missy or Camille let you know what was going on. I hate that I stood you up,” I say, frowning.

She unfolds her arms and moves behind her desk to sit down. “I didn’t understand at the time, but I do now, and, Jonah, you have nothing to be sorry about.” She looks up at me.

Shaking my head, I push my hands into my pockets and tell her, “That’s not true.”

I want to tell her that I’m sorry for so much more than just not showing up. I’m sorry for making her feel like what happened between us wasn’t important. I’m sorry for hurting her feelings, when next to Vivi, she is the last person I wanted to hurt. And I’m most sorry that I’ve let all this time pass, time that might have created an us.

“I understand,” she says.

My eyes rise to find hers, and I tell her a truth. A truth she deserves to hear. “I was really looking forward to spending that day with you. For what it’s worth, I want you to know that I was coming back. I remember thinking that wild horses couldn’t keep me away, but it turns out that wild cars can.” My heart constricts.

Silence surrounds us as we both stare at each other.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I was looking forward to seeing you, too.” Now she just looks sad.

And I hate it.

Next to her, the iPad dings. She looks down and then back at me. “I have to go. My next patient is ready.”

I nod and take a step back, which puts me in her doorway, and my heart starts banging in my chest.

“Can I see you again?” I ask, fear almost preventing me from asking, but I have to know. No more regrets.

She hesitates and then quietly says, “I’m dating someone.”

Right.

The pressure around my heart releases and deflates. The nerves I’d felt this whole time dissipate as I realize I’ve lost my chance. I knew this outcome was a possibility. I’d just hoped for the alternative. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be with her? She’s funny, smart, and beautiful. The complete package. I look at the ground as I try to keep myself and my composure together, and then back to her.

“I’m happy for you,” I tell her. And I am. I only want the best for her.

“Thank you,” she says quietly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

“So maybe I’ll see you around?” I give her a smile, trying to lighten the mood, and she smiles back.

“I hope so.”

And that’s my cue to leave.

“Hey, Jonah?” she calls out, and I turn back. “Thank you for the roses.”

I give her a closed-mouth smile and soak in the details of her one more time.

A coach once said, “Regret is the pain of knowing we could have done better.” That’s always stuck with me, and at this moment, he’s right. I have a lot of regret over how things turned out between us, but I don’t have any regrets for asking today. I put myself out there, and I’m glad I did.

Coming out of Sophie’s office, I pass another doctor in the hallway. I give him a nod, and his eyes flare just a bit with recognition before he nods in return. After he passes, I glance back to see him walk into Sophie’s office, and quietly, I hear him ask, “You do know who that was, right?”

Chapter 7

Sophie

It’s been four days since I’ve seen him.

Four days for him to completely upend my life.

After he left my office, Isaac popped in, and he was so excited to have passed Jonah Dallmann in the hall, wide receiver for the Tarpons, that I didn’t really have time to process my and Jonah’s conversation or how he made me feel before I saw my next patient.

But the minute I got home and every one since then, that’s all I’ve done. I’ve replayed in my mind every move, every face expression, and every word.