Page 85 of Hats off to Love

My stomach dips as I think about this. He went out of his way to look at real estate for me, and near him. I swear he is the most confusing man on the planet.

Moving to one of the tables, she pulls out a chair and sits down. I follow as I know she isn’t here for just a social call.

“Would you like me to make some tea?” I ask her.

She shakes her head then takes a long look at me; it’s half curious and half loving. Finally, she lets out a long exhale and says, “My son . . . he had to grow up way too fast.”

Okaaay. I have no idea where she is going with this, but I don’t want to talk about Stokes with her, at all. I’m not ready. I sit down across from her and do my best to make a blank face and not one that scrunches up in devastation at just his name.

“When you and your mother moved to the farm, it was the first time in months my family smiled. Molly was over the moon, and Stokes . . . well he came in one day and, at fifteen years old, told me you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and one day he was going to marry you.” She pauses to see how I’m going to react.

My breath catches, and I drop my gaze to the table. I can’t look at her. Maybe she isn’t aware that he doesn’t want to be with me. It’s not like we’ve had an opportunity to really tell people yet. Then again, she knew all of this was for show, just to get through the season.

But knowing what I know now about that day so many years ago with the horses and how things might have been different, it’s like pushing on a bruise that has no intention of healing. He thought so much of me after barely meeting me that he thought he’d marry me. If my heart were able to break all over again, it would. Instead, it withers up even more as it prepares for its imminent death.

“I just recently learned that Stokes thought I was snubbing him on one of those early days. He wanted to take me for a ride, and I told him no, said I didn’t want to ride with him. He didn’t understand that it was not about him, but about the horses. He didn’t know about my father.”

She leans back in her chair. “What do you mean he didn’t know about your father?”

“He didn’t know what happened. He thought it was just a heart attack.”

Birdie reaches up and rubs her forehead while she thinks. “Rosie, I don’t remember what I did or didn’t tell them back then . . .” She drops her hand. “But I assure you, nothing was intentional.”

“Oh, I don’t think it was. It’s just been a twelve-year misunderstanding.” Twelve years of torture when I could have had twelve years with the love of my life. I sniff to attempt to ward off the tears threatening to come out and start fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.

“Well, this is an enlightening piece of information,” she says, almost a little cheerful, as if this answers a question I didn’t know she had.

“I don’t know. I’m not sure how. I thought things were changing between us, but I was wrong. Ever since that dinner in New York, he’s been different. Or maybe it’s me who’s been hoping for something different.”

“He took you to dinner when he was in New York?” she asks, tilting her head as she watches me.

My eyes find hers. They are also hazel and feel like a punch to the stomach. “Yes. He said he had to, or you would be disappointed in him.”

A smile pushes the edge of her lips as she crosses one leg over the other. “Darling, I had no idea about him taking you to dinner. That was never discussed between us—that’s something he did all on his own.”

What?

This whole conversation is throwing me for a loop.

In five minutes, I’ve learned of two instances involving him where I had no idea of the truth. This makes me think of other interactions with him, and there are many. Despite what Stokes has said to me over the years, I’m coming to realize his actions always spoke differently. But why? Why did he do these things? The lease availability for my shop, the dinner in New York, him bringing Molly to my college graduation in Savannah, helping me move in, the champagne for my grand opening, wanting to support me in promoting the store . . .

“Wait.” I sit up straighter. “Did he somehow bring Avery Layne to me, too?”

Birdie gives me a look that shows she has the ability to look sheepish and proud at the same time. “At our level, it’s a small world. You know this. He is friends with Will Ashton and was at a Super Bowl party with him in Nashville back in February. I’m not sure how the topic came up, but from what I hear, he pitched you hard. He always has.”

What do I say to that? I knew he went to Nashville to visit friends, but I had no idea it was friends like that.

Dread sinks into my bones. I’m going to have to thank him. I’m going to have to put aside my wounded pride and weeping heart and say thank you. Regardless of how I’m feeling about us, he at least deserves that for everything he’s done for me.

“Rosie, I want to tell you something, and I’m hoping you won’t be upset with me.” She shifts her weight in her seat, almost like she’s nervous, but then it’s gone. The confident woman I know stares me down.

There’s nothing she could tell me that would upset me more than I already am. I start shaking my head, but she just holds up her hand to stop me and continues.

“You know I love my son, but he was stuck. He’s been stuck for a while, and as you and I both know, life can be unfairly short. For years, I’ve watched him be what he thinks he needs to be. He put me first, put the farm first, and while I know he’s happy with his choices, very few of them have been for him. He’s selfless in so many ways, and this is where you come in. It’s always been you. Since you moved back last year, he has been someone else. It’s like he’s been more alive. He came out from behind his expectations . . . but again, he was still stuck.

“Stokes is about to turn twenty-eight—we’re going to blink and he’ll be in his thirties. There’s so much more to life than just work and the farm, and he is in his prime for the best parts of it. He needed a shove out of his comfort zone. I know how much he hates the spotlight, and the Tea was the perfect opportunity.”

“The Tea?” I’m shocked. Is she saying what I think she is?