Page 86 of The Sweetness of Life

Kneeling next to Zach, the next seven minutes of my life blur.

The winery keeps a bee kit in their first aid kit. Kyle flips off the blue cap to the epinephrine shot, lines the orange cap up with Zach’s thigh until it clicks, and administers the shot straight through his pants. Liquid Benadryl is shoved down his throat and he coughs uncontrollably but somehow manages to swallow most of it. Lastly, hydrocortisone cream is rubbed all over his neck where hives have begun to spread.

In the background, I hear Michelle answer every one of the dispatcher’s questions: name, symptoms, age, weight, does she know what type of bee it was, when did it happen, has this happened before, what medicines does he take, what he’s been given, et cetera. They remain on the phone as the sound of emergency sirens drift through the air, becoming louder with each passing second.

A crowd has gathered around us, but when Zach’s eyes aren’t pinched shut, they’re focused only on me.

“You’re going to be okay,” I whisper through the tears, assuring him, holding his hand. He gives me a slight nod and then looks up at the sky, rubbing his chest and breathing hard.

The ambulance arrives, and the paramedics take his vitals as they load him onto the stretcher and into the truck. Kyle hops in with him, instructs Michelle to hold down the fort, and before I realize it, they’re gone.

Dust from the tires settles back on the ground, but I can’t tear my eyes away from the long driveway. Michelle moves to stand next to me, and not one person says a word, my galloping heart the only evidence of what just happened.

One by one, murmurs start up behind me as the magazine crew and the guests who had dropped into the tasting room make their way back inside. Michelle gives my arm a squeeze then leaves me all alone.

Sitting at the top of the steps, the tears drop faster as I think about how easily and quickly it could have been to lose him. I’ve never lost someone close to me, and I’m shaken by this entire experience.

Part of me wishes I had gone with him, but who am I? I’m no one. They are his family, and I’m—for lack of a better word—just a colleague.

Some time later, Michelle sits down next to me. The sun was high in the sky when he left, but now it’s begun its descent west. I’m afraid to ask what time it is. Sitting here for so long . . . it serves no purpose; I just couldn’t leave yet.

“He’s fine. Kyle said the doctor is going to let him go home once the swelling goes down.”

“That’s good to hear,” I answer without looking at her.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“No.”

It’s the most honest answer I can give her, because right this moment, I can’t filter through all the emotions I’m feeling. I said goodbye to him, and the stubborn part of me didn’t want to take that one last look. If I hadn’t . . . no, I can’t go there. That didn’t happen, so I need to focus on what did. I looked, and now he’s going to be fine.

“Should I stay until he gets home?” I glance at her and she frowns with heartache.

“That’s up to you. I do think he would like to see you.”

My mind goes back to our conversation. I told him I was done, told him we were done. That being said, there’s no reason for me to stay.

“No, I think I’ll go ahead and go.” I stand and shake the dirt off of my dress. “Please tell him I’m glad to hear everything turned out okay.”

“I will. If you’re ever back out this way, please stop in and say hello.”

Giving her a closed-lipped smile, I nod my head and make my way back down the steps to my car.

A deep sigh escapes me as I slip on my sunglasses and put the car in drive. The sound of the car, the crunch beneath the tires, and the distance growing between me and the manor have me squeezing the steering wheel, fighting the overwhelming sorrow seeping into my bones.

This was supposed to be a stupid assignment with the added bonus of a fun getaway fling on the side, and as far as vacation flings go, I can’t imagine one being better or more than this.

More.

Is there more than this? It was only a fling, right?

Reaching the end of the driveway, I crack and pull to the side of the road. I certainly don’t regret my time here. I’m appreciative of the opportunity to experience something so different from my everyday life.

I turn to look over the property, memorizing the details. I spot two stone columns, one on each side of the driveway entrance. The stones match that of the manor, and on each column is a metal plaque that says Wolff Winery.

“Huh,” I say to myself.

I’m not sure why I didn’t think of this before, but Wolff is the perfect name for him and this place. What I know about wolves is that they are intelligent and work together in a pack. They watch their prey and study them for weaknesses then they chase the mark over long distances, looking for the perfect opportunity to take them down. I hate to think I have weaknesses, but I guess here I did have some.