Page 82 of The Sweetness of Life

I never meant for things to get so off course the way they did. I should have told Michelle and Kyle the plan was off the table. They both had to have known something was happening between Shelby and me, had to know my feelings went deeper than business. Did I spell it out for them? No. I figured they would have put it together and figured the plan—that stupid, stupid plan—was done.

She bewitched me, and she managed to work herself into every part of my life. It’s as if her just being here made this place cozier, happier. Of course, she’s still a she-devil, but I love her sassy mouth and that she’s never backed down from me. She’s savvy and full of fire. She gives as good as she gets, and no one gets in her way . . . except for me, that is.

The way her body folded into itself when I told her I hated critics—well, I’m a jackass. The equivalent would be her saying she hated my wines, and that would have broken my heart. I tried to defend my rationale, but I only made it worse. That guy—the person I was for most of the last two weeks—that is not me, and now I have to deal with the consequences.

I’ve lost her.

I am paralyzed by disgust with myself.

Looking down at my watch, I see it’s noon and turn to watch the door. Shelby walks in, right on time. She isn’t a minute early or late, and she looks stunning. Everyone turns to look at her, but she ignores us all as she moves across the room to sit in her original chair on my right.

Her hair is twisted into a knot, exposing the long lines of her neck, and her lips are shiny and pink, but her eyes are dark and her usual glow is dull. She’s wearing pearls, a long-sleeved black dress, and gold heels. My eyes are drawn to her legs, and my body tightens as I remember the feel of them being tangled with mine. Warm, smooth, and soft, they were mine, and now they aren’t.

Michelle walks over to her and asks if she would like something to drink, but Shelby frowns, shakes her head, and crosses her legs.

Her spark is gone today. The fire she usually has blazing in her wake has been extinguished, and it’s all my fault.

“All right everyone, let’s do this!” Kelly calls out. As we move to our seats, she leans into my personal space and bats her eyelashes. “You look nice today, by the way.”

I can feel Shelby’s eyes on us, on me, and my hands clench into fists. Keeping it professional, I nod my head and give her a forced, closed-lipped smile before turning and finding my seat.

I shift closer to Shelby and turn to look at her. Her eyes find mine and neurons fire all over my body. This girl affects me like no other ever has, and she’s closed herself off with an impenetrable wall. She gazes at me as if I’m a stranger, and she’s completely indifferent. It wrecks me to see how much I’ve damaged what we had.

Her beautiful deep blue eyes trail over me once and then turn away.

Kelly straightens the list of questions on her lap, clears her throat, and signals to the camera guy. He hits the button, and it begins.

“So, we meet again.” Kelly smiles brightly at me. She has this thick ugly red lipstick on, and some of it is on her teeth. I should tell her, but she’d read into the comment that I’m looking at her mouth, and I can’t deal with her today. I quickly return her greeting and cut my eyes back to Shelby, who smiles out of courtesy and politeness to both of us. I wish her smile were real, but it never reaches her eyes.

I am such an asshole.

“I have to say, Zach, my brief memory of your winery didn’t do it justice. It’s even more exquisite here today than it was two weeks ago.”

I would have to agree with her; it is more exquisite here today, but that’s because of the beautiful girl sitting next to me. She lit this place up in a way no one has for a long time.

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” My voice is thick with emotion.

Turning her attention to Shelby, she pastes on an even bigger, now fake smile. “So, Shelby, tell me, how has it been for you? Two weeks is a long time to be away from home.”

“Two weeks is quite a stretch, but I very much enjoyed being here.” She relaxes deeper into her seat. “Like you said, it’s exquisite, so I soaked up every moment, every taste, and the time flew by.”

Hearing her words, they’re like arrows straight to my chest.

“What was your favorite part about being here?” Kelly leans forward as if she’s hoping to be let in on a secret. Her eyes dance back and forth between me and Shelby, and I know she’s watching both of us and hoping for a reaction.

“My favorite part of being here is just that: being here. Zach and his staff took me right in and made me feel at home. Almost immediately, I felt like I was one of them, that I belonged, and that’s a great feeling . . . one memory I’ll take with me when I leave.”

My heart plummets into my stomach. I want her to feel like she belongs—she does belong—but I’m certain after yesterday, she feels anything but. To be forced to stay here, to play this charade being surrounded by people you think were out to deceive you must be awful for her. Suddenly it occurs to me that this interview could have gone in an entirely different direction, but knowing Shelby, who’s always full of grace and class, she would never outright try to sabotage someone.

Just like the posts on her blog.

Damn. Now, I feel even worse when I didn’t think that was possible.

A groan escapes me, and both of them turn to look at me. I close my eyes and rub the back of my neck.

“That sounds lovely,” Kelly says with a hint of jealousy and curiosity in her tone.

Shelby smiles, and I hear the click of a camera behind us.