Page 44 of The Sweetness of Life

“No,” she draws out, thinking about how to choose her next words. “I would say more uneasy. Zach is incredibly laid back and happy. He’s dedicated to this winery, his family, and his friends, and I swear he doesn’t have one enemy . . . but with you, it’s as if he’s unsure of everything. He doesn’t know if he’s coming or going.”

“That is not my fault.” I walk to the sink and put the knife in it before continuing, “I haven’t done anything.”

“I know, and I’m not saying you have. I just think there’s more going on in his head than he’s letting on.”

Hearing her say “his head” makes me think of his mouth and what it felt like to have it on mine. An ache falls to the bottom of my stomach. That ache represents everything I feel about him and that kiss. It’s filled with longing, wonder, confusion, and disappointment—disappointment because it seems no matter what I do or how much time has passed, things never change.

Involuntarily, I glance outside and see that Zach has moved to stand next to James. Both of them are facing the inside now, and both of them are looking at me. Although the wariness that initially clouded Zach’s eyes the first couple of days has been absent since he claimed he wanted to be friends, there’s still a lingering emotion in them. I can almost feel it when he’s watching me, and it makes me nervous instead of relaxed.

“Well, he can keep it there,” I mumble as I turn my back to the guys. “I’m only here another week, and he can keep his cryptic signals to himself. Soon enough, this will be over.”

She frowns at me, and suddenly I realize she and I will be over, too. Every day Michelle has gone out of her way to see me. I wanted a friend here, and I found one in her.

“I’m sorry, that came out sounding really bad.”

“Don’t worry about it.” She cracks a smile and pushes her braid over her shoulder. “I understand.” Her gaze shifts to Kyle and then back to me. She shrugs and walks over to the French doors to tell the guys the appetizers are ready.

Kyle, James, Bryan, and Jack come inside to join us. They always say the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and as each of them taste the differently styled deviled eggs I set out in the living room, their eyes flash and they smile.

“Zach ran back to the manor to grab some more wine. He’ll be right back,” James says as he comes to stand next to me. Spicy cologne floats around him. It smells really good, different. Over the last week, I’ve become accustomed to a more earthy scent.

“Oh, that’s great. I didn’t realize we were running low.” I look at him, and his big brown eyes. He looks so much like Lexi, it’s uncanny.

“Yeah, well . . . look at us, we can put down a lot.” He chuckles and pats his stomach.

“I suppose you can.” I grin at him.

“Thanks for cooking us dinner. Zach said you’re an incredible cook.”

“Did he now?”

“He did.” I know James is watching my face and my reaction to him talking about Zach. I know he’s trying to figure out if I’m into his friend or not, and while I understand his scrutiny, it still makes me uncomfortable.

“Well, he’s tasted the same things Michelle has, and I know she’s enjoying the food, too. So, that makes me happy to hear.”

A beat of silence passes between us, and then he looks around the kitchen and back at me.

“Can I help you with anything?”

“Nope, Michelle and I have everything under control. I appreciate you offering, though. Besides, you’re on vacation—you should go hang out with your friends.” His friends, who’ve made themselves comfortable on the couch and are currently watching baseball on the television. Guys and their sports—it doesn’t matter what it is as long as it’s on.

“All right, well, holler if you do.” He winks at me then wanders back to his friends.

The three of them plus Kyle joke and laugh together in a way that shows years of friendship. I can’t help but occasionally linger near them to soak up their ease; it’s magnetic, as if I subconsciously want to be part of a group that is so closely knit. It makes me realize just how much I miss Meg and the restaurant. I have this kind of friendship with her.

The front door opens, closes, and Zach cuts across the room in long strides. Placing four bottles of wine on the counter, his arm brushes against mine as he comes to stand next to me. The four bottles remind me of last night, and I step away from him. He burns me with a frustrated look that races straight down to my toes.

“What?” I snap at him.

His eyes narrow and then run over my face. It feels too personal to be perused this way, but I won’t turn away.

Deviled Eggs

I FORGOT THE guys were coming this weekend, even though I had it on the calendar. We talked about it almost a month ago when James called and said he was coming home for a break, and at the time, I told him no worries. That was before the opportunity with the magazine came up, and of course, over the last week or so, I’ve been too wrapped up in her to pay attention to my life and my responsibilities.

“Are you just going to stand in here and sulk all night or are you going to go talk to her?” Kyle asks, shoving a leftover piece of cornbread in his mouth.

I’m not sulking . . . well, maybe a little.