Page 51 of A Haunting at Keystone Manor

“You’re welcome. Now turn back over, I was enjoying being the big spoon for once.” He turns back over and I hold him tight for the rest of the night.

Chapter thirty-one

A Return to Normalcy

Jake

My garden has become my second home. I’m not consciously avoiding everyone, but I need space to process everything that happened to me, and to Seth. I may be avoiding him a little. I hate seeing that bright green cast on his hand, the lingering fear in his eyes when there are loud sounds or sudden movements. The guilt is eating me alive. I know he doesn’t blame me, but I blame myself. Andrei was my problem, and because of me he’s affected everyone at this hotel.

I relish the feeling of dirt under my nails as I dig holes for my plants in the front flower beds. What I should have been doing when I was kidnapped. I’ve changed my mind on the layout a few times, but I think I’ve found the one I like. Tall evergreens in the back, roses in the front. I have a witch hazel plant that’ll go closer to the front door. I’m debating putting in boxwood as well. I don’t know. If I hate it, I’ll start again.

I never thought gardening would be something I could enjoy, but it's freeing, in body and soul. There’s something about feeling this dirt under my fingernails that makes me feel alive again. I want to peel off my shirt and feel the warm sun on my shoulders, but I don’t. The wounds Andrei left on me have healed, but I can’t bring myself to do it. It doesn’t feel safe. Looking at my chest, you’d never know that Andrei cut me up just a few days ago. It’s like it never happened, but it’s all I can think about. Which is why I’m currently trying to drown myself in my work, the only thing I can do that’s worth a damn.

My pity party is interrupted by a body dropping onto the ground next to me with a thud. I sit back on my knees and push my hair out of my eyes to see Seth looking at me with concern.

“Hey, Seth. I’m kind of busy right now, trying to get all this stuff planted,” I say and gesture at the plants, hoping he’ll leave me alone. God, I’m such a piece of shit. But Seth doesn’t leave, just puts his broken hand in his lap and chews on his lip ring.

“Sorry man, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just, uh, wanted to see if you were okay?” He holds up his cast. “I’m not.” He blows out a breath and continues. “Brandon’s been really good to me, you know? I’ve been having nightmares, and he’s helped me through them. I just wanted you to know that what happened wasn’t your fault. You look like you’re beating yourself up out here.” He bites his lip again, nervous about what my reaction might be.

I sit back and pull my knees up in front of me, resting my arms on them. “It is my fault, Seth. I brought all my shit here, and everyone has been hurt because of it. I’m sorry you had to go through that, I really am. I wish he would have come after me directly, saved you from that pain. I deserve it, you don’t.”

He looks at me, considering my words before pulling a blunt out of one of his robe pockets. “Do you mind if I light up?” he asks.

“No, go for it.” He puts it between his lips and uses his free hand to try to light it. After a few failed attempts, I gently take the lighter from him and light the blunt. He inhales and holds the smoke for a second before blowing it out slowly.

“Thanks, man.”

“No, problem.”

“It helps my anxiety. Always has.” He offers it to me and for once, I take it. What the hell. We sit for a while passing the blunt before he breaks the silence again.

“Well, we can blame ourselves all day long, but I don’t blame you for any of it. You didn’t deserve it either.”

I wish I could believe it. “What is it that draws people like Andrei to me? That makes people think they can touch me, take from me, without any consideration for what I want? Am I that fucking weak that people can just sense it? Is that a thing, like an aura? Am I just cursed? Is this place cursed?”

Seth takes another drag as he considers my question. “This land is special. It’s a gift. It only amplifies our natural energies, that’s why people like me are drawn here. That’s why you and Alex manifested as ghosts here. You have a wounded aura about you right now. It’s not your fault, but people can sense those things, whether they realize it or not, and it influences how they treat you. It’s not about what you’ve done, or about weakness on your part. You are definitely not weak, bro, I can tell you that much.”

“I guess that makes sense.” I chew on my lip as I consider his words. I spot Alex coming out of the house. Seeing us sitting in the grass smoking, he wanders over to join us.

“Hi baby, are you smoking pot?!” He gives a dramatic gasp. “You look sexy when you smoke, that’s so unfair. Hi, Seth. Are you feeling okay today?”

“I’m doing okay,” he replies. Alex nods and sits down on the grass with us. I offer him the blunt.

“Oh no, my first time didn’t go so great. But thanks, maybe another time.” I shrug and take another puff before passing it back to Seth.

“I’m trying to convince Jake that he’s not responsible for what happened to us,” Seth explains. I just shake my head and look down at my arms.

Alex rests a hand on my arm. “He’s right, you know. Andrei chose to do those things. He could have fucked off and left everyone alone, but he chose violence, babe. That’s not on you.”

“Okay,” I say flatly, not wanting to argue with him. I don’t want to think about this.

“Do you blame me for my death? Did I deserve it or ask for it?” he asks.

“Never,” I breathe. “Never.”

He shrugs. “It’s the same thing.” He pushes my legs flat so he can crawl in my lap. I recline back on one hand, resting the other on his hip.

Seth stands, blunt burning between his fingers. “I’m gonna go find Brandon. I know he wanted to talk through some revisions for his book. I’m gonna, uh, go do that.”