Page 149 of Resurgent

"To talk," he says, and I'm immediately turning toward the closest store so I'm not alone. "To apologize, Annalise,” he murmurs, head hung low. "I only want a chance to apologize for...everything. Please," he borderline begs, and I can't help the pang of empathy I feel for him.

“One lunch,” he says quickly, seizing my hesitation on the word no. “Let me buy you lunch. If you still want me gone after, I’ll disappear. I swear.”

I hesitate. I don’t know why. Maybe because, if gossip can be believed, he came almost as close to death as I did. Or maybe because I know what it’s like to wake up changed, missing pieces of yourself.

"Fine," I sigh. "But you're buying. And if you try anything stupid, I'm leaving."

His smile is almost contagious as the hostess approaches. "Deal."

"Sorry about the wait," the hostess says, giving Lucas a full body once-over. "Are you two together? Orrr..."

I'm too concentrated on trying to find the words to publicly explain our situation to register him saying, "We're together," until she's already deflating and we're walking toward a secluded table on the patio.

"Your server will be with you in a few minutes," the hostess says, never bothering to even glance in my direction.

"Thanks," Lucas smiles back, and I immediately want to punch his smug face.

We look over the menu in silence other than when Lucas reminds me he's buying and tells me to order whatever and however much I want.

Once our server has taken our orders, an unfortunate coincidence that we like our burgers the same way, extra pickles, no onions, I fight the glare I want to shoot the waitress as she gushes over 'how cute we are.'

She's barely out of ear shot when I finally snap, "What do you want Lucas?"

He chuckles before meeting my eye. "I meant what I said earlier, Annalise. I want to apologize. I have always been under my dad's thumb. It took me getting to my squadron, and finally getting completely away from him before it really hit me precisely how much I was becoming the man he had tried forever to mold me into rather than the man I want to be."

"And who's that?" I ask, still guarded but urged on by the need to hear him out.

"The man who always wanted you," he says, practically shouting over the raised voices of the large party sitting directly to our right.

"Lucas—" I start, not sure of what I'm going to say, but thankful for the waitress loudly clearing her voice beside us, "Is there anything else I can get you before you two dive in?" she asks, gently setting our plates in front of us.

"All good, thank you," I rush out before falling into a blissful food-induced silence as I take my first bite.

Neither of us speaks until we're waiting for the bill.

"Was it just me, or were you nervous to shout anything in case everyone chose to go silent at once?"

I concede a small smile, "I can't say that was on my mind, but I can't say I wouldn't have laughed if it happened to you."

Lucas clutches his chest, mock wounded and smiling like the boy I first agreed to date.

"Will you let me drive you home? Please," Lucas begs, and I'm not sure if it's the guilt of Matt almost killing him or the new side of him once seen today, but I find myself nodding before I can think better of it.

"Thank the Gods," he sighs, hand floating above my lower back in the too-scared-to-touch-you way I would have been irritated by until he did it as he guides me to his car.

"There will never be enough words to tell you how sorry I am, Annalise. For any and all of the shit I've done..."

"Lucas—"

"Please let me get this out," he begs in a way that makes me shut up immediately.

"I thought I'd hit the jackpot when you agreed to be my girlfriend my junior year," he quietly admits. "What you heard me tell the football team, it was just me being a dumbass because they were giving me shit about being a virgin still. I never meant to hurt you, you have to know that," he pleads, leaning in and setting off every warning bell in my mind.

Before I can stop him, his lips are on mine, tongue pushing its way into my mouth and making me gag.

"No!” I try to scream, and push him back, but he doesn’t budge. The kiss feels like it lasts forever, but I’m sure it was only a few seconds.

"They were supposed to wait until I got there to do anything," his voice comes out demonic as I try to get away, "but I guess I should count myself lucky I got caught up after graduation while you were murdering them."